A Day for Audition 。。。

  Today is my audition for the college in United Kingdom, it's blowing a storm in my head and I don't think calming them down is something easy.

  A good thing to say is that the professor liked my playing and really wanted me to go but it's the same problem over and over again since... ever, Money.  There're people applying for Master's Degree there too but when I heard their playing I can definitely say I'm better just by listening next door. 

  Interpretation, is very obvious if not from within. It's like telling a story you know nothing about.   

  And yet again, they are the ones able to get there, not me. 

  Pathetic, just like a Beethoven Sonata.

  

  I did made a few mistakes though, lost my tempo, missed some notes. One interesting thing is on a different piano I can actually find different perspectives over the same song so what I did today was applying it on the spot and that costs me kind of a big disadvantage for doing it on the spot will actually mess up your old memory for the song. Anyway, a good lesson.

  Another thing is that I've finally done dealing with what we called a stage panic thing when you're on the stage and your heart starts to go faster and faster and you're sweating everywhere. Today when I was in the room, I felt absolutely confident about what I was going to do and I don't really feel scared. I've never dream that I can do this. Interestingly, the key is to tell yourselves that whatever comes out, it doesn't matter, just go and believe in yourselves.

  When I was waiting for my turn, I spoke to the head of the studio and learned some news about one old friend of mine, she stopped learning music. Just the time after we broke up. It might just be my over-imaginable thinking because the head of studio told me that her former teacher went abroad for further studies but I might have crushed a future pianist. Nothing about regrets, just feeling that I should apologize for that, but to who? Every life changes when comes in touch with one another. That changed too much, too much. The song I'm having now is 你不知道的事.

  And the last thing for today, I want to save this little spot for you Honey, it has been almost a month since that thing happened, I shouldn't say that I still missed you, but I do, I really do.

  Like a rose, you thorned me where my blood flew, stabbed me and brought me my doom,

  But still,

  Of all the things you do, you gave me the finest truth,

  So now I want to tell you that,

  I do not regret for letting you through.

Yves