Status 。。。

  Posted some status yesterday night and was asked about it. It's surprising that narrating an incident from the past can trigger so big an emotion fluctuation. It's like living it out again in the parallel universe. And so came some news that weren't expected, that everything wasn't real at all. That might lead to greater anger and disappointment if proved to be true. 

  After all these losses, I now truly begin to understand what it means to be a teenager. It is to learn the ways of dealing with people, things, emotion or even relationship, with failure. If everything were smooth and the world did not crumble, I wouldn't be me now. It's crucial that we know what we've lost are worthy of what we've learned but the last thing to do would be trying to calculate the loss and gain and try to balance it with explanation we made up for ourselves.  

  One thing that is important for a teenager is the ability to differentiate lust driven feelings and archetypal feelings. As a teen under development, unstable hormones release have always influenced our judgement. Feeling in love is actually caused by a release of hormones in our brain but even if we have the knowledge from scientific researches, controlling it was never easy. 

  Beginning to step into adulthood, thinking back in time often helped with the realization of interesting concepts, points or things we've missed during our teen time. It's like gambling, teen, you may not have started it,  but you can't stop it and you don't know when it ends until it already did. Mine has now come to an end I suppose, bitter sweet, sour sting, there are people that will remain forever in the past but there are some that we will bring together with us in the life long journey that are yet to come. Mine for an instant, her.

  A regret, a loss.

  An unamendable future in the past.