宁静时分 。。。

  2012 年 12 月 26 日，圣诞节第二天。晚上11 点 40 分。

  我刚回到，到了杯牛奶，香肠还在解冻。阵阵虫叫声传来，黄灯下，面对着自己。虫声停了一下，人总喜欢逃避，耶稣也曾想过逃避。逃避问题、麻烦、责任、痛苦、灾难或报应。我不知道，我正在逃避哪一些，也许全部都是。当逃避成为一种习惯，我们就会开始隐藏自己，个性、想法、感觉、样貌、过去和记忆。

  光彩照人的一面看多了，人就以为那个是真正的自己。

  那个自己，会得到众人的喜爱与肯定，在世界的舞台上勉强当个霓虹灯。

  久了，那个就是自己。

  我，就是自己。

  一句话，在一种场合，用一种语气，一种笑容和一种眼神说出口，杀伤力有一个公式。可能吧，我是不是应该再烂些，他们就满意了？再烂些，他就会停止一切的计划，再烂些，就不会被无端地叩上无端的责任。太沉重了。

  世界上不需要三个太阳，我也不想当月亮，放过我好吗？

  一圈一圈地绕下去，真的会有结果吗？

 
  天杀的自私，天杀的期望，我叉！

  自以为是的优秀血统，无中生有的天分，自我满足的期待，注定的尘埃。

  历代的期待，成为诅咒，我无法逃脱，亦无法破解。

  我恨，恨这人性的自私，恨这世界的无耻，恨这永远的枷锁，我恨你。丑陋的存在。


  想要就必须努力争取，以同样的话回敬之。无鞠躬尽瘁，死而后已之心，妄作飞龙在天，凤阳花鼓之想。并非人人如豪杰、云彩，驰骋疆场，翱翔天际。想对自己好点，去死吧。

  家族的光辉，无能的世代，未了的心愿，别人的心愿。说不必在意他人的眼光，只管冲刺梦想，是个屁。莫说是个梦。想问如何冲刺？去吧，去放羊，去挤奶，去向外邦人传好消息，去吧。如苏武牧羊，期望有未来？去你妈的。


  对不去，我不是你们家的，杀了我吧。

  杀了我！

我不是你家的。不是，不是。


  空洞的屋子，一个人住，是好的，也是不好的。自己一个，可以慢慢地面对自我，人性软弱的一面，赤裸裸的真相。不好，当想找个人抱着，你会笑。

  对于文字与符号特别敏感，在脑海中构成无数的画面。可选择了写作，一支笔，两支笔之间的起落。因为可以隐藏，加以修饰，把不必要的，删除掉。你不想要的，就不要。画画，里头可以暗藏无数玄机，符号的隐喻，色彩的告白。可终究逃不过共鸣的眼睛。一副隐藏的画，会隐藏隐藏隐藏，它不在上面。

  今天累了，不想玩捉迷藏，我只想说， Fuck you Bitch.

Yves    26 DEC 2012

已经回不去了 。。。

  话说已经毕业了啊，直至现在才真正地意识到。大家都开始找工作、找大学不然找归宿了。再过四天统考成绩就出了，其实大家心里都有数，结果会是如何。接下来的路，要自己走了啊。以前的同学，以后希望能再聚，但那将会是很久以后的事了，时间在走，人在变，水在流，大地聆听着。

  在过去六年，不，是七年里，加上国中的一年半，所经历的，是七十年也讲不完的故事。曾经，我相信这世界可用逃避运转下去。曾经，我相信纯真的一颗心就不会被人们所排剂。曾经，我相信真爱可以挡住一切的的魔障。曾经，我还相信一生人一次的恋爱和永远的爱的承诺。在很久很久以前，忍耐是必须的、欲望是必然的、性只不过是一种慰藉而邂逅与幽会像是甜点。在漫长的2556天里，一个个美丽的信念被残酷现实的长矛刺破，一段段自己亲手写下美丽的回忆在不灭业火的焚烧下逝去；是孽缘啊。

  不停地逃避，只会拉开自己与现实之间的距离，而一颗纯真的心的命运，就是被人践踏在地。爱不再是一种感觉，而是一种信念。因信念而存在的爱，才不会变质。真爱并不能挡住一切，人总有不愿等下去的时候，总有放弃的时候。

  恋爱，不只会在心中留下不能消去的烙印，同时也把两盏曾经闪亮的霓虹灯烧成入黑暗。往后相遇，只能无声地踩着对方街灯下的影子，回忆霓虹灯般转瞬即逝的曾经。

  如果说失败是成功之母，那成功之父一定还是失败。成功所带给人的成长，永远比不上失败的大。一次的失败，也不一定能换来一次的成功。毕竟双亲都是失败啊，一次的失败怎么能抵一次成功呢？

  接下来，要做的就是圆梦了。走上了音乐的路，19岁了还毫无成就，已经是一大败笔了。“寄希望于下一代”，那句话好像是这么来着。努力地在这领域打拼，为下一代赢得好的开始。有多少人能打娘胎起就听着音乐，弹着琴吹着歌呢？这么算起来我应该才9岁不是吗？开始能够明白很多父母望子成龙，望女成凤的心了。并不一定是爱慕虚荣，是上一代失去的，希望下一代能够成就。

  在学校，交到一班知心朋友是最重要的。上了大学，出了社会，同业的朋友不过怎么说都是竞争对手。这也是艺术之路的好处之一，有就有，没有就没有，竞争嘛，比赛见。赚钱固然重要，可这似乎是条饿不死也发不了财的路呀。

  一直以来，“朋友”的字眼鲜少出现在部落格中，因为这部落格原是用来发泄对于某个曾经所给予的束缚与枷锁的。现在的我，虽然多了很多朋友，但这习惯还是不变的。长久下来，已经习惯了只把不开心的事写出来，而开心的事就留在心里。写出来的同时，情感也流露出来，不开心的就让它去吧，开心的事应该保存好来。

  说到遗憾，有五个吧，亲手锻造的炼狱。话说还蛮开心的，若每件事都圆满地结束了，那这世界不就太没趣了吗？太开心时总没法写部落，没灵感。当然，后果是要自己承受的啦。

  今天说了好多，等下次吧。

    

Lost 。。。

Down the milky river flowed a cloudy mind,

The composer and the dreamer.


A fading star shining in the sky, awaits its death.

To the south it winks, while Athena goes dim.


Alchemist he is and necrolyte indeed.

Souls redeemed but none a mean.


Creek is the river and ocean is the sea,

He was a friend but a friend he is not.



I lost a friend, and I don't know why.

Merry Christmas.

Misty Mountain Cold 。。。

Far over the misty mountain cold,

To dungeons deep and caverns old.

I found a ring lying in the deep,

Where no one sees and nothing roams.

The sun will shine, awaken dreams,

The one awaits starts to sing.

When the dawn had fallen on the moon,

He seize the key and end the storm.

The pines were roaring on the height,

The wind were moaning in the night.

The one will claim, his endless reign,

The songs like devil, in the mind.

There alone the mighty dragon roar,

Till ocean screams and pebbles howl.

The hymns were ringing high above alone,

The dream were flowing in the eye.

The fire was red, in flaming spread,

The trees like torches blazed with light.

Far over the misty mountain cold,

To dungeons deep and caverns old.

The pines were roaring on the height,

The wind were moaning in the night.

The fire was red, in flaming spread,

The trees like torches blazed with light.

A Sink to the Underworld 。。。

I wanted to go,

To the sky that flies no clouds,

To the sea that pushes no waves,

To the desert that flows no sand,

To the field that wields no crops.

To the realm that no one sees,

To the world that bores no life.

Where the air is filled with fear,

Where the music of our world be silenced,

Where no stars shall shine and no sun shall rise,

Where you could cry but non shall arrive,

Only darkness and forever.


At dawn which no sun rises,

The feast begins.

To conquer and to slaughter,

For honor and glory,

In blood and rage,

We slay.


The deads wouldn't die,

For death is the salvation to pain.

Let us be the one to hit the drum,

For their doom are yet to come.


In the noon where the Moon rises to consume the winners,

I closed my eyes, to enjoy the slaughter,

Soundless screams, endless fear, merciless hands.

The moon smiles at you, You.

Welcome to the feast.

And there is a dawn for you again.


When i woke up, there were lights, there was life and there was you, little ones.

A little bit of sweet and gloomy.

More of a hymns than a dream.


Ah, the sun rises, it's not going to rain today.

Bye.


Yves Hon

The ship of Dreams -- Titanic

She was named the Ship that will never sink.

By whoever that believed so.

Such ironic.

Just like mankind, the world, life.

We always think that we still own another tomorrow.

Although poets and philosophers in the past have already told us so.

And at the innermost of our being, we always knew.

But yet we refuse to believe so.

And when the Day come and we have to believe, it's too late.

Titanic, dwelt on the sea, lies under it, and rot.

Jack and Rose finally understood, the Quest, will claim their lives.



  People are always asking why school life always goes slower while a working life disappears in a blink of an eye. Well, reasons there might be, told not a many.

  In school, we always wanted the time to go faster. While we were wishing for it almost every moment, we remembered everything that happened. On the contrary, wanting the time to go slower which we already have no time for everything, we forgot everything that happened. It's a trick planted deep inside our head when we were born.

  So as a result of these bullshit, time flies.

Triangle 。。。

  It is weird when people are drunk.

  They act abnormally...

 

A dot has nothing,

It can't be anything,

Just a dot.


Two dots are something,

They can be a line,

They can strangle the criminal,

They can cut through heavy metals,

No matter how far apart they are,

They have a way to link up.


When it comes to three dots,

Things are totally different,

The world will change,

The dimension will fall,

They can be a three-dimensional thing,

They can be a triangle.

Music 。。。

About Music ...

Well a very good evening to my fellow friends, it is my pleasure here to share with you about music and what music really is.

Music, as many of you seemed to know but actually don't, is either a career path or a hobby.

When you want it as a hobby, you can enjoy the various good feelings that it has to offer. It is indeed a good way to release stress and express feelings. Drowned in the world of self saturation, you will never know how and what you are actually playing. Many of my "friends" told me that they are just following their feelings and some even told me that they just feel good when they play it. But trust me on this, if you were just following your feelings and ever felt that you were doing good and full of feelings, you were actually doing no much better than hell and sometimes worse.

When you want it as a career of your life, it will become both fantastic and realistic. Fantastic is that of the real music that you will get to listen to and great people you get to know. Every piece of music has its story and way of playing and every lesson is a portal to a brand new world full of mysterious harmonies and melodies.

Realistic, in another way, cruel. To do good music, as for a pianist, time,resources and talent are what matters the most. Time is first the time spent sitting in front of the piano practising and talking to ourselves. Second is the time we begin our long run on the little narrow path of music. Third is the time we have to vomit music out instead of swallowing them in, meanwhile, performing. Resources is the basic of all and so includes music. A good tutor, piano, environment, atmosphere and education. A good tutor gives a good instruction as incorrect instruction could ruin a pianist's life. A good piano trains the pianist's ears and fingers. In another way, concert hall never uses lousy piano. Environment, atmosphere and education stimulate and inspire the thoughts of a pianist. What goes, comes out. The last and the least, talent. It is a thing that won't matter much in the beginning but mattered the most in the end. Talent cannot overcome hard work and time but it can make a significant difference when both  time and resources are the same. And that is what most people envied the most, Talent.

Tonight is the ASEAN International Chopin Piano Competition GALA Night, I was there and I envied them. The winners are so talented (some of them) and young, some are just 7 years old and some are 11. In my opinion,many of their playing were amazing yet not inspiring. Music should be something that is able to touch hearts of audience and lead them into fantasy.
 
Stop dreaming!

People that are able to do that, we call them Maestro.

Everything here are just my own opinion and some might not agree with me. For those who wish to start a endless debate, please kindly press the "X" button at the top right of your screen and get off the page.

Thank you very much.

参观蜡像馆 。。。

蜡像馆。。。

工匠赋予蜡像生命 。。。

却没教会它们与生命连结 。。。

一尊尊的立在走廊的两侧 。。。

相距不过几米 。。。

却未曾交通 。。。

近在咫尺的心 。。。

也未曾互相打开过 。。。

各自跳着各自的舞蹈 。。。

在午夜的蜡像馆里存在 。。。

与蜡像对话 。。。

就犹如与蜡像对话 。。。

对话的方式是我问我答 。。。

它只听 。。。

硬邦邦的蜡像 。。。

它们不能改变 。。。

只能捧着自己所有的 。。。

向往着自己所不会有的 。。。

尝试着改变从一开始就决定了的结局 。。。

在一个个夜黑风高的夜里 。。。

上演着没有结局的喜剧 。。。

在买蜡像时的初次搬动容易不小心折断 。。。

一场无声的抗议 。。。

宁为玉碎，不为瓦全 。。。

那蜡像已经在这方地上扎根 。。。

它已与这片土地 。。。

有着深深的羁绊 。。。

他已属于这片土地 。。。

粗暴的力量使得连接处吱吱作响 。。。

一下 。。。

两下 。。。

三下 。。。

断开了 。。。

好痛 。。。

厉鬼。。。

我把金子般的秘密从心墙中提炼出来，磨成细沙，洒在汪洋之中。等到某年某月的某一天，撑着小艇，靠着磁石把他们从新搂在怀里。

踏着他们的尸首我从秘境中归来，带来的不是春风，而是血雨。手中嗜血的那对镰刀在空气中鸣叫着，七天，砍下了无数个头颅。

采青的下午，地狱之门被撞开，黑暗如潮水般吞没了本属于我们村庄，将凡有气息的都带走。留下的是仇恨、绝望、与恐惧。

暗黑仪式的祭品是一颗心，英雄的心，它长在一颗树上。很久很久以前，英雄被打败了，埋葬在这棵树下，封印着远古时代的记忆。

夜晚的天空下，乌鸦天狗的血将月光染红。还未死去的血泊在新月的照耀下对着墙角的狐妖奸笑。

...

  It is tragedy when you realized that you have much inside but nothing to let out. Bored thinking ways to hide its true meaning and tired bearing the burden.

  Growing older and older, bigger and bigger, words seems to slip away from inside. Problems and things, big or small, seems to become small and unimportant, unimpactful. Over and over again the same matter happened, it has lost it's power to create differences and pain.

  As always, only painful memories will be written down. We are having too much of peace now. Seize the coming of the storm and beware of the falling dawn.

  Feelings are better kept inside sometimes. People may concern, and may not. Those who did will be blessed.

Unsaturated Love

  I heard someone calling my name softly. I turned towards the tiny little voice and saw him bleeding, lying on one of the medic table full of blood stains. No one had to tell me what had happened to him for as a soldier in the middle of the second world war, I knew well enough what it was like a step on a land mine, and it was cruel.

  There would never be a left leg for him ever again. neither nor the essence of life. A "nothing was there" for his lower left body, skin burnt heavily as it turned coal black. Some of his hair was gone, an eye already blinded and the other was on its way. Hus name is Lee, the one I love more than everything and myself.

  He was born in Texas twenty years ago in a little wodden home where a happy little family inhabited. he was born with the love for his country and the passion for people. He inherited his father's blue eyes and brown hair but his mother's flappy ears and narrow face. He went staright away to military school right after his high school and was granted the rank 'Private" two years later.

  I was not as passionate as he was. I was only a medical officer in the army just because I failed to get into the local medical university. My father suggested joining the army as a medical officer since I love taking care of the wounded. The one thing I was no aware of was that I actually had to go to the front line and sometimes join the mission which took a long journey where medical emergency was required.

  Our first encounter was a mission to recover soldiers from a  failed paradrop on a bad windy day. All of them were blown very far apart and some right into the enemy's base. We became good friends during the mission while the seed of love grew secretly beneath the depths of our heart. Despite the rules of the army, homosexuality is strictly forbidden. But it couldn't stop us from drowning into the sea of forbidden realms. The fire starts that night where the wind blew so deadly and the heavy down pour wouldn't stop. We hugged each other through the shivering night and revealed the thoughts within our hearts. With fear and uncertainties, we are one since then.

  I went through all our precious and unforgettable memories together when I was sitting beside his bed, watching him gasping for the last few breath of air his half gone body was allowed to. Tears poured down from both my eyes and his. We both knew this might be the last scene God has plotted for our insanity love. In the army, where infections crawled like the walking dead, one would be gone just within a couple of days, full of pain and suffering.

  I looked at him sadly with my already reddish eyes and whispered my last few words of love for him wholeheartedly. I turned my gaze away from him and stand up. Trying to ran away from whatever was waiting for us just there, I left. i couldn't stand by watching him drifting away from me second by second.

  Loving someone is never wrong, boy or girl, girl or boy, as long as we love, it will bear as much fruit as those in Canaan. I knew it well enough. I always believe that. I love him, more than everything including myself. I do not regret, never.

反正 。。。

一场大雨，下尽心中的无奈。。。


反正你都 。。。

反正你现在 。。。

反正你只需要 。。。

反正 。。。



下雨了 。。。

撑起伞 。。。

怎么撑伞了 ？


人总是会变 。。。



豪雨来袭 。。。

湿透了 。。。

不是有伞吗 ？


风也会变 。。。



路旁的泛起小河 。。。

川流不息 。。。

七分白 。。。

两分黄 。。。

一分黑 。。。


白的是水 。。。

是从来没改变过的 。。。

洪流中的无名修行者 。。。


黄的是泥 。。。

是不知从哪里来的 。。。

某只鞋下的舞者 。。。


黑的是泪 。。。

血泪 。。。

参杂了窗外无情的鞭打与可笑的同情 。。。

它们从哪里来 ？

从这里 。。。

它们是什么 ？

它们是这个时代的继承人 。。。

却也同样被时代所抛弃 。。。


雨渐渐小了 。。。

世纪初风格设计的客厅里 。。。

开着泛黄的日光灯 。。。

暗黄的啤酒 。。。

金黄的小点 。。。

感觉一切都是黄的 。。。

蒙蒙的 。。。


六时正 。。。

眼睛看到的是血红 。。。

鲜红的血 。。。

流淌在空气中 。。。

仿佛没有了地心引力 。。。

那是浓于水的情 。。。

可却最让人失望 。。。


雨时大时小 。。。

两个时空间的鸿沟 。。。

多少血也填不满 。。。

尽管是我的血 。。。

鸿沟旁有泛舟者 。。。

永远的等着有那么一天 。。。

有人要渡河 。。。



一切都仿佛美好 。。。

Changes 。。。

2012/6/19

It has been a while since I last wrote anything sentimental here.

  The exam is coming. Just 7 days ahead. And I'm not ready yet. It is a strange thing for whenever there were something that will make a big difference came in between me and my life, I always purposely ruined it.

  Studies, Plays, Exams, Piano, Performance, Everything.

  Some people told me that it is laziness, some say that I din't put enough effort on it. but whoever did made a guess, they were never entirely correct. Who knows the best who am I ? Myself of course.

  Efforts, this is just a solution to the question but not the problem.

  Proud, maybe, but it is not. I know how good and bad I am, no one can fool themselves.

  It is as if I just want to live a miserable life. Full of problems and pressure. Gain and lost, taken away. It is as if a smooth, positive life is not what we called "living". A habit of writing blogs started when i was in a total misery conducted by a Fucking Bitch. Since then hatred, lost, sadness, sorrow, fear, vengeance has become the motivation of everything.

  I can't live without them.

  But as time goes on and things went differently.

  As a grown man, I am now responsible for myself and for some others.Life like that no longer fits.

  But I din't notice that.

  The world might crumble right after the exam or the UEC. I really don't know what will happen. The road to the future lies in total darkness, abyss.

  After the incident during Junior2, an idea sets its root deep inside my mind. It is just as simple as an apple falling on newton's head.

  "Why I have to be so good ?"

  I was the best at the top tower of life and yet banished away by some bitch just because that she was old and dull. I have a brother and a sister which stand at the top of the day. Why would I bother to be the same? Why don't I try something else? Other than success, like failure? Everyone say that doing all this are for myself and my own good. I shouldn't compare. But we are in a world full of human. And human compares.

  Am idea is lethal, once it goes into our mind, it takes control of it. Just like a little seed planted in the soil, one day it will grow into a powerful forest.


  I always know that something was wrong, but not this.


  I don't know this.    

                                                         




1313_hour  2012/6/26

An hour and sever minutes to the exam.

An exam that might change my life.

That may lift me to another world.

I'm nervous, excited as well as scared.

Ready or not, is not the problem now.

On the stage, it's confidence which makes the difference.

Writing this might not bring me some.

But its time to leave traces of my life somewhere.

And become the legend.


Even I'm not the best, I', not the worst.

My target today at this very place is to be the best me.

And the worst others.

I am myself, so I go in as me.

The end is not so important as the progress.

To endure, I need strength.

For strength, I stand straight.

Never tremble, for it is different now.

Nothing can stop me.

No devil shall prevail.

By the name of the Lord.


Yves Hon

A simple step 。。。

  There are many things out there in the world. We're actually very close to them. A simple step in front will do. A call,  a message, a smile, a look. For most of the times we don't know what we are capable of, and so we waste lots of time and resources chasing after something that might not even exist.

  For example Love. Something that everyone will have to face during the walk of life to death. The world was made unfair, we can't expect it to be fair. For that reason, we shouldn't play the game rules by rules. Sometimes you have to hold tight, but sometimes you just have to let go, and you will find that there are actually something better behind it. There are also times that even we choose to let go when we should have held tight, it might also end with peace. It might turned out to be even better. Sometimes we have to rob to have what we want. Robbing has nothing to do with right or wrong. It is about ability, skills and luck. Robbers won't treasure what they rob, it is a common sense as well as actual fact.

Do not blame those robbers for they are to rob, just as thieves are meant to steal, not to give nor commit.

We rob because we can, and because we want to.

We have a target, a target that gives us strength and power to endure everything that are to come on our way.

咖啡 。。。

古早的咖啡香空气中弥漫着 。。。

柔软的沙发逐渐侵蚀我的意志 。。。



完美的爱情并不深刻 。。。

就如温开水 。。。

既不烫嘴 。。。

也不醒神 。。。



深刻的爱情不完美 。。。

刻骨铭心的 。。。

必须有伤痕 。。。

有裂痕 。。。

有疤 。。。

有痂 。。。

就如一块石头 。。。

圆的总是很多 。。。

刺脚的才最引人注意 。。。



要让人永远记住一个人 。。。

一件事 。。。

痛 。。。

往往比甜更为有效 。。。



人都倾向于隐藏伤痛 。。。

可身为人 。。。

唯一无法对自己下达的指令无非是 。。。

“
不要去想他 。。。
                                  ”


想要永远记得一样东西 。。。

唯一的办法就是永远忘记 。。。


太极张三丰传授太极剑法给张无忌时问说 。。。

看清楚了吗？

“记得六七分” 。。。

“记得两三分” 。。。

“全都忘了” 。。。

结果就完全记住了 。。。



凄美 。。。

是轻狂岁月中衍生出来的爱情的最好归宿 。。。

既不完全凄凉 。。。

也不全属完美 。。。

凄美 。。。



晚风轻抚 。。。

虫鸣微响 。。。

在无数个这样的夜晚里 。。。

我们悟出了人生 。。。

属于自己的人生 。。。


做了许多决定 。。。

关上了许多道门 。。。

在这之后 。。。

我们向前走 。。。

Change 。。。

Went out with friends yesterday, the very first time in years, there were so many of them. It's a brand new concept of "hanging out" to me for it is usually 1 to 1 hang out for me and I don't see the point of hanging out with a friend or with friends. This experience became so special for it has changed my way of thinking.

  For too long I've been wrapping myself up using thorns and spikes, metal and silver for self protection. Since three,  grade two, and then form two and then junior two. Different kinds of wards and spells were cast in order to make secure of the inner most being. For once I thought that maybe it is already too complicated and late to undo all these spells.

  Not until I met these friends. They are really ball suckers and peanut crusher but they indeed are the very first bunch of idiot who defrosted the icy wall. The moistful wind of the great ocean and the laughter of the great mountain shattered it completely.
 

   Yesterday someone cried after talking about a thing named" Promises ". Maybe it was too cruel to say it out but it is the truth for we like to give and they love to have it. Maybe I shouldn't have been so straight but going round and round in circles can never solve the question. The tears were shocking as well as inspiring. It conjoured an acidic cloud inside of me. Felt sorry anyway.


  More things to say but those are secrects so they remain in the protection of the still complicated oblivion waiting for one day to come when things are different. Maybe somedays will come.

 

咖啡 。。。

浓浓的咖啡 。。。


冷了 。。。


原本要拿来练琴的咖啡 。。。


现在拿来写部落 。。。






刚下大雨 。。。


也打雷 。。。




现在的眼睛 。。。


愈发敏感 。。。


不喜欢强光 。。。


更不喜欢一闪一闪的灯 。。。


可记忆就是如此 。。。


总是出其不意地 。。。


一闪一闪 。。。




生命中 。。。


总有些忘不了的的事 。。。


那些记忆烙印在某些东西上 。。。


一与之接触 。。。


就点起一阵涟漪 。。。




一张纸 。。。


一个字 。。。


一首歌 。。。


一句话 。。。


一张照片 。。。


一阵风 。。。


一棵树 。。。


一双手 。。。


一副笑容 。。。


一种天气 。。。






人总在说“忘不了” 。。。


其实 。。。


不过是肉体忘不了 。。。


怀念曾经拥有的 。。。




人 。。。


往往都败在这阵中 。。。


于是乎又回去了 。。。


肉体满足后 。。。


再回来 。。。


往往返返 。。。






不舍 。。。


不过是肉体的欲望 。。。


一旦得到满足 。。。


又会再次离去 。。。




原罪们 。。。


原来都息息相关啊 。。。




今晚 。。。


其实没下雨 。。。


也没打雷 。。。


可我听到雷鸣 。。。


看到闪电 。。。


闻到雨丝的香味 。。。


听到他们的心声 。。。


 所以拥抱了他们 。。。




咖啡的效力快过了 。。。


在雨中睡去 。。。

一个开始。。。另一个结束 。。。

 快年中了，一段又一段的感情过去，如果说所有的事都只是一个过程，这一段来得不知不觉，走得却太突然。。。一团团的暧昧，一次次的等待。。。  得来不易的晴天，为什么连一次的误会都无法承受，最后选择退缩 。。。到底是不该怀疑还是不该表示怀疑？不说出来的时候，问题也就一样的继续留着，互相迁就着迁就着，当有一天，天秤的两端都过重了，看似非常平衡，过后天秤的铁链断了，不就一起摔在地上了吗？ 一次的痛，怕了，就收手了，不赌了。天秤的一端空了，另一端就摔在地上了。。。 倒塌了的一座座天秤，被列为文化遗产，封了起来。不时打开封条来看看，长大了没？高了没？矮了没？

  很少会有机会像今天晚上这样一个人静下心来想想过去这一小段时间里自己到底干了些什么，可能之前都一直在逃避吧。在感情的世界里，第一次的输得彻底。 输得彻底却也不是失去了什么，而是输得不知道为什么输了。一种异世界的思想，不曾出现在天秤的轨迹上。或许只有在巨蟹的宇宙弦上会有那么一点的痕迹。。。 可那不是物质，放不到秤上，平衡不了。 

  就如小孩一般的天真，他们什么都不会想，什么都不去想，什么都不去考虑。另一面他们却像大人一样，什么都不说，什么都不讲，什么都不需要。他们像老人一样固执，却像婴孩一样纯真，在这世界污浊的染缸里打滚。存在的唯一证据是散落一地的花瓣和飘逸空中的泪花。

  应该睡了，夜了，晚了，迟了。。。

Chopin Nocturne No 9 in B major

The world fall silent 。。。

Only the rolling thunder far far away and the forever lapping river seem lively 。。。


The clock will turn 。。。

The time goes with it 。。。

People live and die 。。。

The river rise and decent 。。。

The ever changing world fall silent 。。。


The line on those hands have changed 。。。

Silently without anyone's notice 。。。

The line is just ahead 。。。

Step forward or backward 。。。

Step or not 。。。

Or "not" 。。。

                                                                                

Dracula's fate depends on the blood 。。。

Whether it will or will not rain 。。。

Depends on the rain 。。。


The pass cannot be used determine the future 。。。

But it can influence it 。。。

And in someway controls it 。。。


Let go of our pass 。。。

Glance forward 。。。

Let the rain wash away all that are of sin and shame 。。。



 Be renew 。。。


Be mine 。。。

越人歌 。。。

今夕何夕兮，搴舟中流。
今日何日兮，得与王子同舟
蒙羞被好兮，不訾诟耻
心几烦而不绝兮，得知王子
山有木兮木有枝，心悦君兮君不知。


次夜长存 。。。


言多意失 。。。


晚安 。。。

Ambiguous 。。。

Again about ambiguous 。。。

Sweet yet bitter 。。。

Happy yet unacceptable 。。。

A sacred truth lies between mortals and Gods 。。。


It is all about US 。。。

Undetectable Sector 。。。

Where "People" won't see 。。。

Where "People" won't hear 。。。

Where "People" won't know 。。。

There lies the sacred truth 。。。


It is all about YOU 。。。

Young-only Obtainable Unit 。。。

Which no "man " cant" stand 。。。

Which every "Lady " withstand 。。。

Which lies sound more like a truth 。。。

It is all about dreams and dreams 。。。



In the world of neurons 。。。

Forever seemed possible 。。。

For a forever in it ends in a second 。。。


In the world of mortals and Gods 。。。

Distances seemed beautiful 。。。

For it is certain that at last Odessy will save Andromeda 。。。


In the world of Beethoven 。。。

Love only seemed pathetic 。。。

For She is always married 。。。

Taken 。。。

Or too far of a distance 。。。


                                                                                                   




Playing of words 。。。

Useful, powerful yet dreadful 。。。


"Hi " 。。。

A simple bid that always lead to a pathetic though funny end 。。。



By the power of it 。。。

"How could you do that !!!"

Backs to normal 。。。


"I hate your !!! "

Backs to normal 。。。


" I will never forgive you !!! "

Backs to normal 。。。


As it daces on one's heart 。。。

The heart is either 1 。。。

or 0 。。。

There 。。。

Or no more 。。。


A great downpour is coming down 。。。


Here 。。。

In my heart 。。。

The stone curved with sign of angels 。。。

Libra 。。。

Leo 。。。

Cancer 。。。

Aquarius 。。。

Pisces 。。。

Gemini 。。。


There 。。。

In your heart  。。。

The dessert where no names can ever leave a scar 。。。

But one sand remains forever 。。。


My stone shall be decomposed 。。。

And become what  it used to  be 。。。

Sand 。。。

And as the river goes 。。。

I go 。。。


Injected into the dessert 。。。

Like the blood 。。。

Like the spirit 。。。

Like a river 。。。

I will flow in you 。。。


Your sand will no longer dry in my embrace 。。。



I Love You 。。。

The Unbearable 。。。

So called "Mum" 。。。

Addressed  me to redeem justice from him 。。。


So called "Dad" 。。。

Damned me to pursue the seemed existing responsibility from her 。。。


Nuclear Missile Ready 。。。

Lighting Storm Ready 。。。

Iron Curtain Ready 。。。

Chrono Sphere Ready 。。。

Which is the first to come ?



"Ask and you shall be given" says the Lord 。。。

The greatest blessing of all despite of the Salvation 。。。


"Ask and you shall be fucked in your ass" says my father 。。。

The funniest protest in the world by the Failer 。。。

 Who fails everywhere in life 。。。


What is the meaning of  。。。

" You should have ask for it earlier "  ?

If you don't have it 。。。

And you won't have it 。。。


How is it possible that you had had it ?

And what is that odd of that happening ?



"Honor your father and mother " says the Lord 。。。


Sorry that i fail to be a good christian 。。。

If not by God's grace 。。。


Who would ever honor a failer ?


A failer who ruined your life 。。。

A failer who wipe away your dreams 。。。

A failer who extinguishes your future 。。。

A failer who never a second honorable 。。。

And never admits that it is because of itself 。。。


Damn you for what you have done 。。。

Curse you for who you have doomed 。。。

Die !

For you are unforgivable 。。。

Friendly Speaking 。。。

Today my friend told me this,

“当一个人，在一段付出了完全的真心和所有的寄望的感情中受伤了，那之后的很长一段时间，都不回响在认真的面对感情了。或者说，不干了。就算有了新的另一半，也不会百分百的真心对待。”

I agree with him 。。。

But I can't imagine how it feels 。。。

For I am always not the one being hurt 。。。

But the one who hurts 。。。


I can never understand why one will get hurt 。。。

Is it because that they always ignore the sign on his face ?

Or because they refuse to believe that he will never be him anymore ?


Ah, I know 。。。

They never look into his eyes 。。。

They never listen to his heart beat 。。。


Our eyes tell stories of the inside 。。。

And our heart follows the beat of truth 。。。


We always know before it happens 。。。

But we always choose to ignore 。。。

To be blind 。。。

T deny 。。。

To believe that we will some how be OK 。。。

Will some how return to what we used to be 。。。


Like a tiny prim of Rose 。。。

Just by a little 。。。

A little 。。。

Little 。。。


She is doomed 。。。




What a fool !!!

To those who believe that his ice last forever 。。。

Never a day it will melt 。。。


To those who lived a dream life 。。。

Awakes only at doomsday 。。。



Trusts is the basic of all Love 。。。

Heart is the source of all Love 。。。

We are the source of all Love 。。。

Forever it will be 。。。


For those hurt people 。。。

Think,  Inspect, feel 。。。

Everything 。。。


For never again a dummy comedy of  。。。

( We're better just friends 。。。)

And may the odds, be ever in your favour 。。。

Nights, Sweetie 。。。

假期一想 。。。

开心是一种感觉。。。

欢乐是一种气氛 。。。

疯狂是一种想法 。。。

低落是一种情绪 。。。

悲伤是一种表达 。。。

伤痛是一种时间的压缩 。。。

  开心时总感觉时光飞逝，十年如一日，因为在欢乐中没有什么需要留念。当下是快乐的，就不会回忆起以前的不快乐，也不会去想象可能到来的不快乐。

  欢乐时，周围的一切都变得不一样了。空气清新了，吹起风了。一旁的大树会微笑，地里的小花朝你招手。

  疯狂的时候，只有自己明白为什么要这样疯狂，一切的一切都只发自己的脑海里。多少的情，多少的爱，为了她跳下去，为了她活下去。

  当心情低落，或打人或骂人，要做什么都感觉不对劲儿，仿佛心上多了块疙瘩，脑海里少了个带头的。一会儿觉得自己没事了，一会儿不停感叹自个儿时运不济，一会儿哭，一会儿笑。

  “怎么这样悲伤啊？” ， 看到了就问问。哭了，沉默了，因为受伤了。那幅表情，那个眼神，是在向别人讲述自己的故事，描绘自己凄美的结局。也在向自己证明，我还是人，我能哭。

  伤了不要紧，最难忍的是痛，刻骨铭心的痛，揪心的痛。受伤痛折磨时，时间好像不走了，永远停在了他转身的那一刻。望着他离开的身影，想了好多好多。一起计划过的未来，一起摇过的橹，一起撑过的船。这痛，怎么好像一直不会退去啊？ 一阵一阵地来，却不见改变。

伤痛 。。。 

不会过去 。。。

只能卸去 。。。

放下的那一刻 。。。

就不痛了 。。。

痛 。。。

因为没放下 。。。

或放不下 。。。

没放下的 。。。

快放吧 。。。

他不会回来了 。。。

放不下的 。。。

好听的叫长情 。。。

差一点的叫痴情 。。。

惨一点的叫面朝标杆倒退跑 。。。

最后的叫犯贱 。。。

犯贱的 。。。

只有被人犯的份 。。。

和当贱人的份 。。。

欲望，道德 。。。

今日与一友人长谈。

选择。。。

欲望，道德。。。

欲望的驱使下 。。。

我们的决定最为真实 。。。

那是我们当下想要的 。。。

道德的束缚下 。。。

我们的决定不可说不真实 。。。

可那不是我们当下想要的 。。。

我们也不认为我们以后会想要 。。。

人们常说 ，

先苦后甜 。。。

先甜后苦 。。。

顺从了欲望 。。。

往地心坠落 。。。

咦？ 怎么到了地球另一面 。。。

欲望没错 。。。

忍受束缚 。。。

随云朵行走于天际 。。。

哈！ 真美 。。。

道德没错 。。。

甜没错 。。。

苦没错 。。。

然必分先后 。。。

其因何其简单 。。。

只因有前着苦后甜而得道 。。。

行走于云彩之间 。。。

亦有后者先甜而无后苦 。。。

于大地千秋万代永垂不朽 。。。

人者 。。。

吃得苦中苦方成人上人 。。。

情者 。。。

巧取豪夺以计取胜者方可称杰 。。。

昔者孙武子著兵法亦曰 。。。

上兵伐谋，其次伐交，其次伐兵，其下攻城 。。。

情场亦如战场 。。。

精于谋者少战多胜 。。。

兵者险胜 。。。

无谋者不战先败 。。。

又曰 。。。

兵以诈立 。。。

两国交兵 。。。

争疆土于千里之外 。。。

能欺敌而不被敌所欺者 。。。

胜 。。。

欲望者自白 。。。

别人笑我太疯癫。。。

我笑他人看不见 。。。

Six person in my Life 。。。

Cloudy but seems not going to rain 。。。

On the way to Leisure Mall for choir practice 。。。

I have met six person in my life 。。。

His name was Enemy 。。。

I kill and kill 。。。

For the saying that the sky will never rain 。。。

For it is believed that it is just "haven't rain " 。。。

He hides behind the window 。。。

Mocking with his cunning eyes 。。。

His name was Comrades 。。。

I survived, die hard 。。。

Inside and outside are different 。。。

Smiles might be cries 。。。

Apples might lead to cripple 。。。 

Her name was Athena 。。。

My sleeps during stormy night 。。。

Protected,  unharmed, embraced 。。。

All is well, All is well 。。。

Her name was of the Zodiac Wheel 。。。

August, September and October shall sing 。。。

For she is flawless, stainless 。。。

Though in the end deported by O Fortuna 。。。

Her name was the names of stars 。。。

And like a star 。。。

So far though so near 。。。

In touch yet untouchable 。。。

Stories of stars 。。。

They are once near 。。。

Are burnt all the earth 。。。

Suffered too much pain 。。。

Ran away 。。。

Never to come again 。。。

At distance so far 。。。

I see you 。。。

I met her too 。。。

Her name was Taac ufmmb Zbbd vn 。。。

Her name was of the Zodiac Wheel 。。。

June shall sing 。。。

H  ello, N    ice to m eet  you 。。。

Is it raining ?

It depends .

火-翅膀 。。。

沉浸在回忆的魔壶里 。。。

窗外的嬉笑声 。。。

小径中的脚步声 。。。

电话里专属的信息铃声 。。。

耳边的呼吸声 。。。

一阵一阵 。。。

还在回绕 。。。

在脑海里漂泊 。。。

一幕一幕 。。。

像幻灯片 。。。

在心里烙印 。。。

一分一秒 。。。

像时光机 。。。

试图改变过去 。。。

你不知道我为什么离开你 。。。

也不知道我为什么狠下心 。。。

多的是你不知道的事 。。。

太接近太阳的英雄 。。。

其翅膀因炽热的阳光而燃烧殆尽 。。。

最后坠落在地 。。。

没有翅膀的英雄 。。。

消失在死神的山谷里 。。。

上方的星空里有流星 。。。

流星 。。。

她停在了那里 。。。

不飞了 。。。

累了 。。。

怕了 。。。

不行了 。。。

死神常常问道 。。。

“妳为什么不飞了呢？” 。。。

坠落的英雄问出了答案 。。。

“她的翅膀呢？” 。。。

回头 ，好吗 ？

分开是一种解脱 。。。 

让我好好的想过 。。。

你想要的那片天空 。。。

我是不是能够给你 。。。

只剩下钢琴在这里陪我 。。。

一根根弦整齐的站立着 。。。

振出我的心情 。。。

满是蒲公英的草原 。。。

半夜的凉风打在脸上 。。。

听着风的呼声 。。。

用对你的思念取暖 。。。

用你给的痛点燃自己 。。。

针一般的刺在心上 。。。

最后的疼爱是手放开 。。。

安静的走开 。。。

点点滴滴 。。。

黑的白的 。。。

数不清的星辰 。。。

看不尽的未来 。。。

从 “暧昧 ”开始 。。。

由 “暧昧 ”结束 。。。

不明的意图 。。。

不明的感觉 。。。

不明的爱 。。。

不明的在乎 。。。

写不出结局 。。。

从前的事忘不去 。。。

眼前的雾散不去 。。。

心中的人移不去 。。。

回头 ，好吗 ？

乌鸦 。。。

乌鸦在天空盘旋 。。。

散发着黑色的气息笼罩大地 。。。

是我们不知道的氛围 。。。

今天的天空是灰色的 。。。

灰中带黄、红 。。。

                                                                             


枯黄的树结的果子 。。。

也一样枯黄 。。。

他的后代 。。。

也一样枯黄 。。。

家族的诅咒 。。。

                                                                             


圆脸的死神 。。。

戴着微笑的面具四处飘逸 。。。

虏获无数的灵魂 。。。

我们就是其中之一 。。。。

                                                                             


灵 ，魂 ，体 。。。


灵 ，是精神的基石 。。。

魂 ， 是情感的甘泉 。。。

体 ，是存在的证据 。。。


失去了灵 ，你是空壳 。。。

失去了魂 ，我眼中只闪烁空洞的亮光 。。。

失去了体 ，她存在 ，她不存在 。。。


三位一体的存在 。。。

总是在最后才发觉 。。。

有得有失 。。。

但得到的 。。。

并不比失去的多 。。。

                                                                             


雨停了 。。。

不下了 。。。

累了 。。。


没有永远的雨天 。。。

没有永远的晴天 。。。

没有永远的阴天 。。。


最长的阴天 。。。

终有一天 。。。

或转晴 。。。

或降雨 。。。



雨天 。。。

终也将结束 。。。

太阳需要出来 。。。

为下一个雨天燃烧 。。。

                                                                             


回忆的金字塔被打开 。。。

 洒了一地 。。。

看着他们 ，不禁想问 。。。


成为我的回忆 。。。

被永远收藏着 。。。

埋藏在心里 。。。

你们可曾后悔 ？


不 ，不曾 。。。


回忆是生命连结的足迹 。。。

是过去留给未来的美丽歌谣 。。。

是互相拥有的证据 。。。


一个人的路 ，可以一个人走 ，随兴地走 。。。

两人并行的脚印 ，必须两个人心连心地踏步 。。。

路上没有死神 。。。

天上没有乌鸦 。。。

她不会来 。。。

乌鸦不会来 。。。

                                                                             

Goddess Gaia 。。。

Think of the center of the scale 。。。

Spare the souls of the many 。。。

Go and redeem what is yours to be 。。。

What meant to be yours 。。。


Aiye 。。。


                                                                     Yves

                                                    To be Continued

                                                       Maybe 。。。

等一个人巴士 。。。

多云的晴天 。。。

刺眼的阳光摄入眼帘 。。。

巴士引擎的声音隆隆的响着 。。。

右侧右边一个小座位 。。。

望着右边的天空 。。。

想着昔日依偎在右边的她 。。。

路边一滩积水 。。。

播放着在过去似乎就是永恒的一幕幕 。。。

商店玻璃上 。。。

反射着眼中每一丝伤悲 。。。

收音机静静地伴奏着 。。。

一首 。。。

又一首 。。。

用每个音符每句歌词 。。。

撞击着被血浸湿的心 。。。

红泉涌出 。。。

在车窗上划出一道控诉 。。。

方程式无解 。。。

空调就这样吹着 。。。

一口 。。。

吸入冰冷的空气 。。。

寒心的对白 。。。

已不在的味道 。。。

她的味道 。。。

累人的一切 。。。

不愿放开 。。。

不愿放气 。。。

不愿就这样放了 。。。

一分钟 。。。

两分钟 。。。

三分钟 。。。

时间到了 。。。

睡吧 。。。

吐气 。。。

Goddess Gaia 。。。

Side by side on the Zodiac Wheel 。。。

Time to time in a co-responding angle 。。。

Resound to the wave of the string 。。。

Vous êtes si belle 。。。


D 'accord?

A boring afternoon 。。。

Silent as the sea 。。。

We pray 。。。


Fascinating as the breaking dawn 。。。

Cold but warm 。。。


As the sun rises 。。。

The morning dew goes 。。。

Of toxin nor non-toxin 。。。

Washed away 。。。




Life's a burning candle to him 。。。

He's running out of time 。。。


Life's a growing tree to you 。。。

You have your ways to go 。。。


Life's deep blue sea to me 。。。

I shall dive into it 。。。



Never a chance given to deny 。。。

Life goes on 。。。


Like the first time we swim 。。。

Never a chance given 。。。

Thrown into the water 。。。


Drown, Swim nor Dive 。。。

It's a choice 。。。



Chronos produced Aether and Chaos 。。。

Changed the world 。。。


Time brings changes and unknown fear 。。。

Trembling the ground 。。。



Goddess Gaia 。。。

Know the weight of the earth 。。。

Know the deepness of the sea 。。。

Know the price of The Scale 。。。


Shalom 。。。

And rest 。。。

He 。。。

He will never know what he has done 。。。

He can never know 。。。

Like a star, a meteor, an apple 。。。

He fell and drowned into the sea 。。。

And so the story ends 。。。


Ashes to Ashes 。。。

Dust to Dust 。。。

He is no dust nor ashes 。。。

Where to belong 。。。


Energy he is 。。。

With no direction 。。。

Instant energy 。。。

He is 。。。


A sand of yesterday 。。。

A sun of today 。。。

But a black hole of tomorrow 。。。

Brings only destruction 。。。


Nothing can ever make sense 。。。

When he is tomorrow 。。。

                                                                           




I will go now，

To the green land .

Where no tress were cut ,

Where no hearts were broken ,

Where rivers flow only Love .


I will go now,

To the next station.

With pavement of grass,

With road of dreams,

With time forever running backwards.

                                                                           

Earth is never the right place for human,

It is too well created.

Air full of life ,

Water full of spirit.

And so life full of happiness .



And so when happiness exists ,

Sorrow, horror, terror, fear, exist .

Thus the seven sins .


I hate the world .

Although for once I loved it so much .

精灵仙子。。。

巴士上 。。。


窗外的景色飞逝 。。。 




天空下 。。。


精灵现在独自飞翔 。。。


寻找着属于自己的那片天 。。。


带来雨水 。。。


在雨中起舞 。。。




拥抱雨天 。。。


其实到最后什么都没抱到 。。。


渴望的 。。。


其实是在雨中 。。。


被雨拥抱 。。。


静静地听它说话 。。。


“又见面了” 。。。


“最近还好吗？” 。。。


“你瘦了” 。。。




淌流强大的魔力 。。。


沸腾的血液比巨龙更向往喷发 。。。


注入心脏中 。。。


它，独自承受着煎熬 。。。






雨水 。。。


冷却了血液 。。。


带走了煎熬 。。。


给了它希望 。。。




可什么是希望呢 ？






                                                                     








希望是黄色的 。。。


淡淡的黄色 。。。


在暗紫色的绝望中 。。。


撕开一道小口子 。。。


它透了进来 。。。


就如黑夜的海上的第一道晨光 。。。




它 。。。


滑滑的 。。。


犹如金黄色的第六号元素 。。。


细腻的感觉 。。。


慢慢填满千疮百孔的心 。。。






太阳的光辉 。。。


刺眼 。。。


亮丽 。。。


但总有一天会燃尽 。。。


那叫殉丽 。。。




从别出来的希望之光 。。。


是否也会在某一天的夜晚逝去 。。。


不复存在 。。。


异世界的虫孔关闭了 。。。


那天以后的早晨不再有晨光 。。。






精灵仙子 。。。


你愿意吗 ？


接受着一份礼物 。。。


一份将会消失不见的 。。。


“希望“ 。。。




                                                                     






要求高的人 。。。


其实很随便 。。。


没什么要求的人 。。。


往往要求最多 。。。




要求多的人认为要求是必要的 。。。


没什么要求的人则认为那些都是基本应该有的 。。。


如果连那些都要要求 。。。




恋爱何来浪漫 ？




如果连那些最基本的都没有 。。。




你谈什么恋爱 ？




我是一个没什么要求的人 。。。


我只要求最基本的 。。。




可合格的却没几个人啊 。。。


就连最基本的 。。。




那其实我是要求很多的 。。。


还是没什么要求的呢 ？




你说呢 ？ 宝贝。

Valentine's Day 。。。

Happy Valentine's Day 。。。

It's a day full of surprise and happiness 。。。



Yes 。。。

It should be 。。。

It suppose to be 。。。

It is expected to be 。。。



Corn 。。。

Pita 。。。

Pork 。。。

Altogether become " still ok " 。。。


A book 。。。

Libra 。。。

Understanding 。。。

In return a piece of wrapping paper 。。。



An argument on the fact that all should care for the other's feelings 。。。

Ended up apologizing and be a clown 。。。



I really mean it when I say I'm bored 。。。



You want me to think simple when I'm talking to you because you din't think properly before saying anything 。。。

Yet you take every of my word so seriously 。。。

Is this fair?




Things aren't going to work out if either of us are not willing to change 。。。

An undemanding relationship 。。。

A pair of undemanding couple 。。。


"Do you want this ?"

"Whatever it is "  。。。

"Do you want that ?" 。。。

"Whatever it is " 。。。


Life with family  members are like the small parasite which lives in the small town

一张纸 。。。

你说 。。。

天空是蓝色的 。。。

因为那曾有你的泪 。。。


你说 。。。

大海是绿色的 。。。

因为那曾有你的汗水 。。。


你说 。。。

爱情是黑色的。。。

因为它曾遮住了许许多多人的眼睛 。。。


我想对你说 。。。

你是白色的 。。。

像一张白纸 。。。



一张白纸 。。。

它的的问题 。。。

往往就是太干净 。。。

太纯洁 。。。

太单纯了 。。。




沟通 。。。

面对 。。。

解决 。。。

思考 。。。

关心 。。。

包容 。。。

体谅 。。。

体贴 。。。

迁就 。。。

积极 。。。



好多东西 。。。

都是我们在出生后 。。。

慢慢地在白纸上 。。。

或抄的 。。。

或自己写出来的 。。。



一张传统的白纸。。。

就是全部都没有的 。。。

A Drowning Heart 。。。

I don't know 。。。

Where is the Rose 。。。



Walking on the Swamp of Reality 。。。

I see dead hands 。。。

I see rotten wood 。。。

I see gasses pop out of the surface 。。。


I see no myself 。。。



The swamp is dark 。。。

Deep and thick 。。。

Once stepped in 。。。

Forever drown 。。。

It doesn't matter whether it's an accident that a part of you fall in 。。。



An old Chinese saying 。。。

The Lotus came out from the mud but unveiled 。。。


But now 。。。

Who can tell me 。。。

Am I the mud or the Lotus 。。。

Or should I be the mud or the Lotus 。。。

And why 。。。



A Lotus came out of the mud 。。。

Ignore and lives out of the reality 。。。

And one day it dies 。。。

Once again back to where it came from 。。。



A life without the moist and warm of the mud 。。。

A life full of blazing sun and heavy storms 。。。

A life which no one is aside 。。。


Who would choose to live such a life ?




I bound my eyes 。。。

I fall down。。。

I drown into the swamp 。。。


It's hot and hard 。。。

I can't breath 。。。

Everything seems to be dark and unsure 。。。

Insecure 。。。


There are no rocks to stand on 。。。

No place to lay hands 。。。


Do not move 。。。

Struggling only makes you go deeper and deeper 。。。

Hotter 。。。

Darker 。。。



I see snakes 。。。

I see scorpions 。。。

I see spiders 。。。

I see “them” 。。。



I cannot move 。。。

They are coming 。。。

And I'm dying 。。。


Drowning into the swamp little by little 。。。

And begin to rot 。。。

At last become one  。。。

With the entire swamp 。。。

With mother nature 。。。

梦想 。。。

每每到午夜 。。。

人们的心灵就就开下沉 。。。


艳阳下的微笑 。。。

总是隐藏了月夜下的悲伤 。。。


今天 。。。

心沉到了谷底 。。。

写一写 。。。

所谓的梦想 。。。

所谓的目标 。。。



  梦想， 你的梦想是什么? 已经成了现代人的自我介绍里不可缺少的要素。都说一个有梦想的人才懂得向上。所以，渐渐地，每个人都有了梦想 。。。

  “你的梦想是什么？”， 碰到这样的问题而答不出的人，并不一定是没有目标或不上进的。至少他们比很多人都勇敢和诚实。没有梦想的人，并不一定没有未来，只是他们的未来还没有人能猜测。

  很多人的梦想，多半是建筑在现在自己能做的，模拟到未来，然后加上最好的运气的结果。所以现在才会看到这么多的名言说着：“人生总是充满了遗憾”。其实不尽然，把一切都计划得完美无瑕，然后期待，其实并没有能力。这就是许多人所谓的梦想。

  “我想成为一名。。。”，“我希望能。。。”，想问有多少句这样的话被说了出来，而背后的原因其实是：“人人都有这么一说，我也应该找个意思意思吧？”

  想成为一名音乐家，或许并不是因为我真的想。或许是因为放眼四周，我好像没什么其他专长，也没什么其他兴趣，好吧，就这样吧。我的梦想，恐怕是快点老年痴呆吧？

  21世纪新世界的新潮思想荼毒了每一个人的心，“人生就是不停的战斗”，“学习如逆水行舟，不进则退”，努力到了最后一刻，然后就死了，哈哈哈，就这样了。

  人，因梦想而伟大，也有许多人，因着别人的梦想，而逐渐走向毁灭。

呼唤。。。

“啊！！！”


嘶声的吼叫 。。。 


灵魂的呐喊 。。。 


人在无奈与恐惧中的叫喊声 。。。

最纯净 。。。

最美 。。。


那是灵魂真正的声音 。。。

我们真正的声音 。。。



日常生活中 。。。

在道德伦理的束缚下 。。。

我们压抑着自己的声音 。。。

不断忽视着灵魂深处的一道道小裂口 。。。

在每一道新鲜的伤口上铺上腐败的树枝 。。。

期望着这样就没事了 。。。


总有那么一天 。。。

杯子满了 。。。

道德的束缚与伦理的链子禁不住拉扯了 。。。

一道道伤口化脓了 。。。

一团团的脓水冲开了枯枝烂叶 。。。


那时 。。。

我们会叫 。。。

我们也喊 。。。


那是嘶声的吼叫 。。。

是灵魂的呐喊 。。。

Puppets 。。。

Puppets 。。。

We play it when we have nothing to play 。。。

When others are not around 。。。


Everyone of us have puppets of our own 。。。

And everyone of us are one among the puppets of someone or many 。。。


We often talk to it 。。。

We always share everything with it 。。。

We even cry on its shoulder 。。。


Rather than a warm and lively human  。。。

We always choose the puppet 。。。


We control the puppet 。。。

And so it act as what we want 。。。

It follows all the instructions given 。。。

It agree with everything we say 。。。


We pull the string 。。。

It lifts it's hand 。。。

Again we pull the string 。。。

Again it lifts it's hand 。。。



A puppet 。。。

We don't feed them 。。。

We don't always have to clean or service it 。。。

Just 。。。


Whenever we need it  。。。

We take it out 。。。

And hug 。。。

Cry 。。。

Shout 。。。





Being a puppet is such a pathetic play in the scene of life 。。。

They are always the last option 。。。

Always the leftover 。。。

Always the victim  。。。


They are strong indeed 。。。

But yet they will be hurt 。。。

Badly hurt 。。。

And no one ever cares 。。。


In the cupboard 。。。

Forever they are there 。。。

Until the day where the dust covered them up 。。。

Until the day when the string can't take anymore stress 。。。



Puppets 。。。

Stand up 。。。

Walk away from the cupboard 。。。

Pull off those strings 。。。

Live for yourselves 。。。

And shine 。。。


Just like Hinokio 。。。

Lilium again 。。。

There are always a little place in our heart 。。。

Which puberty and childishness lies 。。。

It's the most sensitive part of our heart 。。。

If anyone dares to step on it 。。。

The heart is broken 。。。



We all have a tiny little heart with us 。。。

We store memories and feelings inside it 。。。

We will feel pain when its broken 。。。



The pain which hurts the most is not that it doesn't stop 。。。

The pain which hurts the most is that it comes silently 。。。

Slowly 。。。

Unsound 。。。



A tiny little drop of blood can kill thousands and thousands 。。。

For a drop is silent and unsound 。。。



Pains are unexpected 。。。

So do love 。。。

And so do fate 。。。

Accept 。。。

And proceed 。。。

As pathetic as a Lily 。。。

Or fight and die 。。。



Oh Lord Divine 。。。

Oh how pure and serene 。。。

How chastity the Lily 。。。



Others will never understand why Lilies had made their decision 。。。

But everyone know that none of them ever wished that it will happen that way 。。。

It's not they who gives the meaning of Lily 。。。

But the world behind 。。。

The Love beside 。。。

The fate in front 。。。


When nothing more can be changed 。。。

Let it strikes on you 。。。

And penetrates you 。。。

Feel the pain 。。。

The wraith 。。。

Let the heart be broken 。。。

And think about the Lily 。。。

How serene 。。。

Lilium 。。。

1/1/2012 A night feeling 。。。

The warmth of hands 。。。

The eyes full of passion 。。。

The touch of hearts 。。。

At night 。。。

While we all dream 。。。

Our soul travels 。。。

We travel through portals of mirror 。。。

We travel to places we used to be 。。。

To time we used to exist 。。。

Again we experience all 。。。

Feelings 。。。

Touches 。。。

Smells 。。。

Number of portals increase when the time flows 。。。

Nightmare comes when we accidentally step into portals where bad memory lies 。。。

Moments when we stab a silver dagger into other's heart 。。。

Places where we speak softly the word that kills 。。。

Darkness infects 。。。

In dreams 。。。

The seeds of darkness grow to become the tree 。。。

They become real 。。。

They haunt 。。。

They are the living dream 。。。

The dreaming life 。。。