2011 儿童诗班积极传递会

2011 年最后一次演出

2011/12/30

八打灵新市堂卫理公会

巴生恩友堂卫理工会

我咯~

又是我咯~

  第一次用Grand Piano 伴奏~ 爽！

  话说我们学校的合唱团真的应该检讨了，儿童诗班也唱得比他们好。。。

  希望明年会顺顺利利~ 能更上一层楼~

  2011年就要完了，没啥好写的，就继续努力啦~



美中不足的圣诞夜。。。

  今年的圣诞节，还可以算有意义，跟一个朋友去另一个不认识的朋友家，简单地说，去吃。

  去到就有人拿啤酒来，自然地就开始喝了。喝着喝着就唱几首圣诞歌，就开始进餐。吃着吃着就开始吹水。吹着吹着就回了，接着去打半夜机，直到凌晨三点。

  说实在奇怪，一整天下来最开心的竟是打机的时候。在这样一个温馨美丽的节日里，做得最开心的是竟是打机。

  妈妈在家，本来说有去聚会，之后又不去了。可我，就是不想呆在家。何况早上才屌过来。

  重要的时刻、节日和开心的时光，“家人”应该是不可或缺的东西。可这“家人”的定义却非常复杂。“家人”，基本上指具有同一系谱起源的实体，不论系谱起源是透过生物，历史或文化来继嗣。人类学上，“家人”同时包括由继嗣和婚姻而彼此有关系的人。而生物学上，“家人”指称血统和交配。而在心理上，“家人”的定义就模糊了。

  重要的时刻、节日和开心的时光，最想一起度过的人，就是“家人”。在某一方面来说，“家人”的身份是与生俱来的，而另一方面来说，那是必须去争取或赢得的。

  

  这漫长的十八年里，过过最开心的圣诞，应该就是去年的了。

  那两天一夜。

  话说拿个筛子滤一滤，还是有一些值得纪念的事。

  首先有的第一张圣诞照片，虽然只是一个人的。

  接下来有来自遥远地方的祝福，虽然只是短短几个字。

  

  最后是第一次吃火鸡，还有一大堆不知名的不知是法国菜还是意大利菜。那火鸡腿真他妈的大。

宝贝，

  今年的圣诞着实不怎么样，希望以后的圣诞，我们能一起过，好吗？

Since 17 Dec 2008 。。。

Some say love, it is a river that drowns the tender ring 。。。


Some say love, it is a razor that leaves your soul to bleed 。。。


Some say love, it is a hunger an endless aching need 。。。

I say love, it is a flower and you it's only seed 。。。

  Since 17 Dec 2008, and now 17 Dec 2011. 

  I never truly understand  the meaning of love for the past three years, because it was still there. I never think of treasuring it, because it was still there. I never hold tight to it, because I thought I have already holding very tight.

  For the past three years I have been loving the very same person, and I thought that I would love her forever just like what we all know in those fairy tails, the prince and the princess lived together forever after. But the fact is, I don't. Thing changes slowly, so that we won't realize it. It has always been too late when we realized that something was wrong. 

  I've always been wondering when things started to change. And I find that it was far long before everything happened. Everything starts with a simple thought, then a saying,  then a thinking, and at last I act it out.

 With too much pain and loss, heart broken, dream waked, beloved taken away, there seemed to be no way to go. So starts the thought, why don't I get another one?

  And so step by step everything happened.

  Love, is something that we don't own,and we don't earn. 

  Love is something that we don't gain it by works we've made and we don't lost it because of something we did.

  Love is something that we don't recognize it when we have but we cry for it when we lost it.

  Love is something that leaves watermarks in our heart, other than scars which come with pain.

  Finally, Love is something that touches, silences and opens the heart of every living things.

  We shouldn't live only for Love, but we should live with and together with Love, for it enrich and fills our live with colours and feelings. Never giving up loving someone or stop loving anyone. We hurt and we get hurt and so we grow.

When the night has been too lonely and the road has been too long,

And you think that love is only for the lucky and the strong,

Just remember in the winter far beneath the bitter snows,

Lies the seed that with the sun's love,

In the spring becomes the rose.

  Good bye to my love, to She that I have loved for times.

  Farewell and be good.

Dream 。。。

I dreamed a dream which I will never want to dream of 。。。

Day light has started to fade away 。。。

And so darkness filled my heart 。。。

When smoke bomb was released 。。。

Acid rain came 。。。

The rain was cold 。。。

It corroded their body 。。。 

Everything seemed to be fine before the corrosion went deep inside 。。。

Injuries everywhere 。。。

None stop bleeding 。。。

Purulent everywhere 。。。

Pain came with every of their single little movement 。。。

I was there 。。。

And I was laughing at them 。。。

For the foolishness 。。。

  At this very holiday of 18 years old I learn many new things, things that cannot be taught by others. Things that are forbidden to speak of.

Why would man hire prostitute.

How is it like to train "pets".

You are already a chick when you act like one.

How easy can cheating happen.

How easy it is to purposely make it happen.

  A few words, a conversation, a message, a smile, a blink of the eye.

Let us enjoy what came to us with a joyful heart 。。。

Not much fool are left in this world 。。。

But there are 。。。

And they are here 。。

Now 。。。

In our everyday life 。。。

  

Lust and Body 。。。

A relationship was build up by many elements 。。。

When time goes by 。。。

 Ratio of each elements will change 。。。

When the balance between elements is interrupted 。。。 

When everything come to that line 。。。

That everything are only about lust and feelings 。。。

People will begin to change 。。。

In and out 。。。

For a relationship 。。。

When it came to that line  。。。

It either dies immediately or fade away slowly 。。。

Unnoticeable 。。。

But 。。。

What if 。。。

In the very beginning 。。。

The relationship was just based on lust and feelings 。。。

And everything are only about lust and feelings 。。。

Will it grow dramatically ?

Will it stand across that line ?

People often says that we shouldn't only look onto the flesh 。。。

We should also look into the heart of others 。。。

We should know one another through the heart 。。。

But sometimes the heart is just not coming out 。。。

Or we say that It just doesn't want to come out 。。。

Requiem For A Dream

  刚看完了这套电影，感触颇深。人的堕落，总是在不知不觉间，也总都在一瞬间察觉，但却已经太迟了。然后，带着无奈与绝望的心情，接受，继续堕落。纵使知道自己已经堕落到什么样子了。

  电影中，故事一步一步的带着主角们一步一步地往下陷，堕入泥潭。破碎家庭，禁果，性爱，烟酒，毒品。主角们能做的，也只是随着情节的指引，慢慢地往下走。天台，同居，贩毒，卖淫，强奸，被捕，疯。回头？翻身？这是笑话吗？

  人们时常鄙视，甚至是唾弃堕落的人，人们称他们为“自甘堕落”、“胸无大志”。但其实很多时候，堕落的人并不知道如何能停止继续堕落。就算是知道的，也不知道应该如何停止。堕落的人，最可悲的不是堕落了，而是无法停止继续堕落。

  大人们常说，要自强不息，奋斗到底，可大人们却没说，当一个人的身、心、灵都空虚匮乏，疲惫不堪的时候，如何能自强不息，如何能继续奋斗到底。能自强，因心不空虚。能奋斗，因身不匮乏。灵，象征着目标，带领着生命的方向。

  抛开对于异性的遐想，身为一个男生，电影中的女主角卖淫的场景最令人印象深刻。一次一次的卖淫，一开始，其实本身并不愿意，但为了钱，为了毒瘾，就这样开始了第一次的被动式做爱高潮，然后第二次口交前戏，第三次的派对大杂烩。一次一次，一步一步，一层一层，慢慢地，越陷越深。最让人印象深刻的还是女主角最后一幕时的表情，无奈、无助，能做什么吗？什么都不能。不满足了面前这班男人，就什么都得不到。任人怎么脱，怎么命令，怎么干。什么姿势，什么服务。“吞下去！吞下去！吞下去！”

  对于没真正堕落过的人来说，堕落一词或许很唯美，很让人羡慕，其实不然。堕落的人，到最后其实都不停的问着自己：“我到底怎么了？”不知不觉的，不知从什么时候开始，就一直是这样了。想改变吗？当然。可没办法。

堕落的人，

是坠落的陨石，

在大气层中受尽摩擦，

一点儿一点儿地燃烧殆尽。

它伸出火焰般的触手，

想抓住点什么，

但什么也没抓到，

什么也抓不到。

触手碰着了空气，

消失得更快了。

越坠越快，

陨石迅速变小了。

“砰”

结束了。

  回顾着自己许多不为人知的过去，这部电影真让我感同身受。永远没有自甘的堕落，也永远没有空无点痣的胸膛，只有不小心，不经意间，不知不觉间，放下了的矜持与尊严。我们都是人，都会犯错，都曾堕落。

你堕落过了吗？

The passed 2011

 It's now the month of December, after so many events and problems, after lying in the abyss of oblivion for quite a few days, I finally have the mood to think about what actually happened throughout this year.

  This year, many had died, by the meaning of "had" they are now alive again. But of course, their life is different now. A total of seven. Oh god, why is it seven every year? Can't we just get rid of the Seven Sins topic? 

Gluttony,

Sloth,

Envy,

Pride,

Lust,

Greed,

Wrath. 

  The old Sins has passed, few survived the crush, some did not.Those new comers are not qualified at all.  They are just jokes, except for some of them. Some of them are really memorable. Let's make it this way,  if we steal lives from others in order to live, some of them make a super long life spam like Digi SUPER Long Life did but some of them didn't make it more than a day. It's not about time but the quality of life.

  Future, is in pure darkness. No one will ever know what will happen in the future. In another way, anything can happen in the future. I wish to dwell in the skies of the seven seas, I wish to be embraced by the waters of the ocean and I wish to dive deep into the oceanic trench face up to see the stars in the sky. But who knows? Whether I will be dead. Tomorrow? Next week? Months later? Or never?

  Throughout the year 2011, what I did was having fun studying. Sounds weird. I am not really studying nor having fun. It's very difficult to live in a society where we don't posses the same concept of "living". It's like drinking soda when you are thirsty and eating when you are already full.

  In my lovely choir, The Great Confucian Private Secondary School Choir! It's not good to criticize others or to gossip about others, 

BUT THEY REALLY SUCKS!

Sucks not to their insability, 

Sucks not to their low self consciousness,

Sucks are to their not motivated for everything.

  They are noobs, so what? Get on practice and one day they will be the best, but none of them did. What can I say? Waiting to be dismissed? Perhaps.

How can one ever stand up if he doesn't even willing to sit down?

  And so the year 2011 passed. I am now 18 years old. I am still studying. I am still briefing. I am still alive. I am still here. Nothing special. Just a little bit older, taller, thinner, exhausted and mature. After all year long of bumping boobs, it's time to settle down and have some peace. Romantic encounters may still come but for God's sake not so often and not so many! It's fun to have but it's very tiring to control and maintain. 

  It's time to have breakfast. It's 12:54 p.m now. I am having my breakfast. Oh, interesting. Make wish that the year 2012 will be more interesting and fun! 

Meanwhile meaningful.

记忆的漩涡 。。。

风，吹啊吹啊 。。。

那风筝线断了 。。。



其实它为什么断了 。。。

任谁了也不曾明白过 。。。


这世上有太多的事 。。。

到最后都只有天知道 。。。



风太大了 。。。

扯断了那线 。。。


线上无数的结 。。。

搞得那线再经不起折腾了 。。。


纠缠不清的线 。。。

还有其他的线 。。。

我蹭你 。。。

你蹭我 。。。



那画面 。。。

还真纠缠不清 。。。


彩带的影子 。。。

在暴风雨的夜里 。。。

依然跳动着 。。。



透过百叶窗的框架 。。。

望着那还在雨中飘渺无依的她的轮廓 。。。

还真觉得可惜 。。。



但任谁都清楚 。。。

那线已经断了 。。。