Yves's Log, 24th FEB 2013
I'm going to start working soon. Kinokunia. A totally new environment for me, new job, new people, and new challenge. I know that its time t choose my song for the university audition. Things to learn are getting more and more, music, is not so simple.
A small thing happened few days ago, my friend and I were having different opinion towards a particular song. It was very different.
The past few months with my teacher have changed many of my way of thinking in music, its a breakthrough.
After seeing so much of the wonders in music, it is now very hard for me to really believe that I am able to reach that standard in just a few years time. Life as a pianist is not easy though. Unlike business, Law, Accounting,Finance, what you have to do is just memorize and write it out and you have your scores, you do whatever which will be the same thing everyday and you will have your salary blown up to ten grands in ten or fifteen years time. Ten grands, not much yet not least. You cant own a bungalow with that yet won't ever be starving. Life of music, time spent does not guarantee success or wealth, it's about time, but not time.
2013年2月26日星期二
2013年1月20日星期日
A day 。。。
Things between us have changed a lot today. One who upsets the balance of nature will have themselves killed. It was oblivious that a relationship was build out of trust and with trust it prospered. One that was unable to give trust does not deserve a relationship.
I hate blogs now, for people will know what I was after, what I longed for and what I wanted to be. It's really hard when I have to care about so many things just whenever I wanted to write just something. Thus, I'm going back to my old style.
Thus the wind blows, shattered mirrors.
Memories of the old, like Titans they mourn.
Sacred love enthroned, deep lies it is.
Laughter or slaughter, let none be the answer.
Choice has to be, chosen or forsaken.
Minds could not be linked, differences have always been.
A treatment the same, clothing may vary.
Glacial spikes, everything's frozen.
I'm a wizard out of mana, a vampire craving for blood.
Unable to cast spells, vulnerable to the sun.
"Ever" is the mother of God, fuck it up.
I'm tired.
I'm thirsty.
I need a cup of latte.
I hate blogs now, for people will know what I was after, what I longed for and what I wanted to be. It's really hard when I have to care about so many things just whenever I wanted to write just something. Thus, I'm going back to my old style.
Thus the wind blows, shattered mirrors.
Memories of the old, like Titans they mourn.
Sacred love enthroned, deep lies it is.
Laughter or slaughter, let none be the answer.
Choice has to be, chosen or forsaken.
Minds could not be linked, differences have always been.
A treatment the same, clothing may vary.
Glacial spikes, everything's frozen.
I'm a wizard out of mana, a vampire craving for blood.
Unable to cast spells, vulnerable to the sun.
"Ever" is the mother of God, fuck it up.
I'm tired.
I'm thirsty.
I need a cup of latte.
2013年1月5日星期六
Blow 。。。
每个人一生，都会有一幅代表真爱的画面，有可能很美，有可能很惨。有问过许多的人，活着这期间里最美最浪漫的一刻是什么时候，得到的答案都很奇怪。奇怪的不是内容，而是表达与记忆的方式。听着不同人叙述的那一刻，大多有几个共同点。
1)周围景物的描述多过于人物的描述。
2）
Blah~Blah~Blah~ These are not what i was going to write today. It is so fun to play with the toys, imitating them, grow their confidence, make some co-incidents, turn them over and crush them.
Noticed that if a person was bound by the thought that " this is fate", it is so easy to manipulate their minds again and again for they themselves will make the conclusion way before it even occurred. And the " what it used to be will forever be" mind set is deep inside of them.
If there were emotional bond in between at the same time, you can't stop the fun! For feeling is as glue, sticky and dicky. The moment they realized that they can't let go, is the time the work being perfectly done.
Human, can so easily befallen by the power of feelings, in another words, loneliness. In the very beginning, feeling is a feeling, they wanted to feel important, cared or taken by someone or something. It was fun seeing the same thing happening again and again around you. First they were lonely, then they look for one, get rid of loneliness, not long after that, again they suffered from it again. So Addictive. So Fun.
This post were meant to be disgusting.
1)周围景物的描述多过于人物的描述。
2）
Blah~Blah~Blah~ These are not what i was going to write today. It is so fun to play with the toys, imitating them, grow their confidence, make some co-incidents, turn them over and crush them.
Noticed that if a person was bound by the thought that " this is fate", it is so easy to manipulate their minds again and again for they themselves will make the conclusion way before it even occurred. And the " what it used to be will forever be" mind set is deep inside of them.
If there were emotional bond in between at the same time, you can't stop the fun! For feeling is as glue, sticky and dicky. The moment they realized that they can't let go, is the time the work being perfectly done.
Human, can so easily befallen by the power of feelings, in another words, loneliness. In the very beginning, feeling is a feeling, they wanted to feel important, cared or taken by someone or something. It was fun seeing the same thing happening again and again around you. First they were lonely, then they look for one, get rid of loneliness, not long after that, again they suffered from it again. So Addictive. So Fun.
This post were meant to be disgusting.
2012年12月31日星期一
宁静时分 。。。
2012 年 12 月 26 日，圣诞节第二天。晚上11 点 40 分。
我刚回到，到了杯牛奶，香肠还在解冻。阵阵虫叫声传来，黄灯下，面对着自己。虫声停了一下，人总喜欢逃避，耶稣也曾想过逃避。逃避问题、麻烦、责任、痛苦、灾难或报应。我不知道，我正在逃避哪一些，也许全部都是。当逃避成为一种习惯，我们就会开始隐藏自己，个性、想法、感觉、样貌、过去和记忆。
光彩照人的一面看多了，人就以为那个是真正的自己。
那个自己，会得到众人的喜爱与肯定，在世界的舞台上勉强当个霓虹灯。
久了，那个就是自己。
我，就是自己。
一句话，在一种场合，用一种语气，一种笑容和一种眼神说出口，杀伤力有一个公式。可能吧，我是不是应该再烂些，他们就满意了？再烂些，他就会停止一切的计划，再烂些，就不会被无端地叩上无端的责任。太沉重了。
世界上不需要三个太阳，我也不想当月亮，放过我好吗？
一圈一圈地绕下去，真的会有结果吗？
天杀的自私，天杀的期望，我叉！
自以为是的优秀血统，无中生有的天分，自我满足的期待，注定的尘埃。
历代的期待，成为诅咒，我无法逃脱，亦无法破解。
我恨，恨这人性的自私，恨这世界的无耻，恨这永远的枷锁，我恨你。丑陋的存在。
想要就必须努力争取，以同样的话回敬之。无鞠躬尽瘁，死而后已之心，妄作飞龙在天，凤阳花鼓之想。并非人人如豪杰、云彩，驰骋疆场，翱翔天际。想对自己好点，去死吧。
家族的光辉，无能的世代，未了的心愿，别人的心愿。说不必在意他人的眼光，只管冲刺梦想，是个屁。莫说是个梦。想问如何冲刺？去吧，去放羊，去挤奶，去向外邦人传好消息，去吧。如苏武牧羊，期望有未来？去你妈的。
对不去，我不是你们家的，杀了我吧。
杀了我！
我不是你家的。不是，不是。
空洞的屋子，一个人住，是好的，也是不好的。自己一个，可以慢慢地面对自我，人性软弱的一面，赤裸裸的真相。不好，当想找个人抱着，你会笑。
对于文字与符号特别敏感，在脑海中构成无数的画面。可选择了写作，一支笔，两支笔之间的起落。因为可以隐藏，加以修饰，把不必要的，删除掉。你不想要的，就不要。画画，里头可以暗藏无数玄机，符号的隐喻，色彩的告白。可终究逃不过共鸣的眼睛。一副隐藏的画，会隐藏隐藏隐藏，它不在上面。
今天累了，不想玩捉迷藏，我只想说， Fuck you Bitch.
Yves 26 DEC 2012
2012年12月15日星期六
已经回不去了 。。。
在过去六年，不，是七年里，加上国中的一年半，所经历的，是七十年也讲不完的故事。曾经，我相信这世界可用逃避运转下去。曾经，我相信纯真的一颗心就不会被人们所排剂。曾经，我相信真爱可以挡住一切的的魔障。曾经，我还相信一生人一次的恋爱和永远的爱的承诺。在很久很久以前，忍耐是必须的、欲望是必然的、性只不过是一种慰藉而邂逅与幽会像是甜点。在漫长的2556天里，一个个美丽的信念被残酷现实的长矛刺破，一段段自己亲手写下美丽的回忆在不灭业火的焚烧下逝去；是孽缘啊。
不停地逃避，只会拉开自己与现实之间的距离，而一颗纯真的心的命运，就是被人践踏在地。爱不再是一种感觉，而是一种信念。因信念而存在的爱，才不会变质。真爱并不能挡住一切，人总有不愿等下去的时候，总有放弃的时候。
恋爱，不只会在心中留下不能消去的烙印，同时也把两盏曾经闪亮的霓虹灯烧成入黑暗。往后相遇，只能无声地踩着对方街灯下的影子，回忆霓虹灯般转瞬即逝的曾经。
如果说失败是成功之母，那成功之父一定还是失败。成功所带给人的成长，永远比不上失败的大。一次的失败，也不一定能换来一次的成功。毕竟双亲都是失败啊，一次的失败怎么能抵一次成功呢？
接下来，要做的就是圆梦了。走上了音乐的路，19岁了还毫无成就，已经是一大败笔了。“寄希望于下一代”，那句话好像是这么来着。努力地在这领域打拼，为下一代赢得好的开始。有多少人能打娘胎起就听着音乐，弹着琴吹着歌呢？这么算起来我应该才9岁不是吗？开始能够明白很多父母望子成龙，望女成凤的心了。并不一定是爱慕虚荣，是上一代失去的，希望下一代能够成就。
在学校，交到一班知心朋友是最重要的。上了大学，出了社会，同业的朋友不过怎么说都是竞争对手。这也是艺术之路的好处之一，有就有，没有就没有，竞争嘛，比赛见。赚钱固然重要，可这似乎是条饿不死也发不了财的路呀。
一直以来，“朋友”的字眼鲜少出现在部落格中，因为这部落格原是用来发泄对于某个曾经所给予的束缚与枷锁的。现在的我，虽然多了很多朋友，但这习惯还是不变的。长久下来，已经习惯了只把不开心的事写出来，而开心的事就留在心里。写出来的同时，情感也流露出来，不开心的就让它去吧，开心的事应该保存好来。
说到遗憾，有五个吧，亲手锻造的炼狱。话说还蛮开心的，若每件事都圆满地结束了，那这世界不就太没趣了吗？太开心时总没法写部落，没灵感。当然，后果是要自己承受的啦。
今天说了好多，等下次吧。
2012年12月7日星期五
Lost 。。。
Down the milky river flowed a cloudy mind,
The composer and the dreamer.
A fading star shining in the sky, awaits its death.
To the south it winks, while Athena goes dim.
Alchemist he is and necrolyte indeed.
Souls redeemed but none a mean.
Creek is the river and ocean is the sea,
He was a friend but a friend he is not.
I lost a friend, and I don't know why.
Merry Christmas.
2012年12月5日星期三
Misty Mountain Cold 。。。
Far over the misty mountain cold,
To dungeons deep and caverns old.
I found a ring lying in the deep,
Where no one sees and nothing roams.
The sun will shine, awaken dreams,
The one awaits starts to sing.
When the dawn had fallen on the moon,
He seize the key and end the storm.
The pines were roaring on the height,
The wind were moaning in the night.
The one will claim, his endless reign,
The songs like devil, in the mind.
There alone the mighty dragon roar,
Till ocean screams and pebbles howl.
The hymns were ringing high above alone,
The dream were flowing in the eye.
The fire was red, in flaming spread,
The trees like torches blazed with light.
Far over the misty mountain cold,
To dungeons deep and caverns old.
The pines were roaring on the height,
The wind were moaning in the night.
The fire was red, in flaming spread,
The trees like torches blazed with light.
2012年12月2日星期日
A Sink to the Underworld 。。。
I wanted to go,
To the sky that flies no clouds,
To the sea that pushes no waves,
To the desert that flows no sand,
To the field that wields no crops.
To the realm that no one sees,
To the world that bores no life.
Where the air is filled with fear,
Where the music of our world be silenced,
Where no stars shall shine and no sun shall rise,
Where you could cry but non shall arrive,
Only darkness and forever.
At dawn which no sun rises,
The feast begins.
To conquer and to slaughter,
For honor and glory,
In blood and rage,
We slay.
The deads wouldn't die,
For death is the salvation to pain.
Let us be the one to hit the drum,
For their doom are yet to come.
In the noon where the Moon rises to consume the winners,
I closed my eyes, to enjoy the slaughter,
Soundless screams, endless fear, merciless hands.
The moon smiles at you, You.
Welcome to the feast.
And there is a dawn for you again.
When i woke up, there were lights, there was life and there was you, little ones.
A little bit of sweet and gloomy.
More of a hymns than a dream.
Ah, the sun rises, it's not going to rain today.
Bye.
Yves Hon
The ship of Dreams -- Titanic
She was named the Ship that will never sink.
By whoever that believed so.
Such ironic.
Just like mankind, the world, life.
We always think that we still own another tomorrow.
Although poets and philosophers in the past have already told us so.
And at the innermost of our being, we always knew.
But yet we refuse to believe so.
And when the Day come and we have to believe, it's too late.
Titanic, dwelt on the sea, lies under it, and rot.
Jack and Rose finally understood, the Quest, will claim their lives.
People are always asking why school life always goes slower while a working life disappears in a blink of an eye. Well, reasons there might be, told not a many.
In school, we always wanted the time to go faster. While we were wishing for it almost every moment, we remembered everything that happened. On the contrary, wanting the time to go slower which we already have no time for everything, we forgot everything that happened. It's a trick planted deep inside our head when we were born.
So as a result of these bullshit, time flies.
By whoever that believed so.
Such ironic.
Just like mankind, the world, life.
We always think that we still own another tomorrow.
Although poets and philosophers in the past have already told us so.
And at the innermost of our being, we always knew.
But yet we refuse to believe so.
And when the Day come and we have to believe, it's too late.
Titanic, dwelt on the sea, lies under it, and rot.
Jack and Rose finally understood, the Quest, will claim their lives.
People are always asking why school life always goes slower while a working life disappears in a blink of an eye. Well, reasons there might be, told not a many.
In school, we always wanted the time to go faster. While we were wishing for it almost every moment, we remembered everything that happened. On the contrary, wanting the time to go slower which we already have no time for everything, we forgot everything that happened. It's a trick planted deep inside our head when we were born.
So as a result of these bullshit, time flies.
2012年11月27日星期二
Triangle 。。。
It is weird when people are drunk.
They act abnormally...
A dot has nothing,
It can't be anything,
Just a dot.
Two dots are something,
They can be a line,
They can strangle the criminal,
They can cut through heavy metals,
No matter how far apart they are,
They have a way to link up.
When it comes to three dots,
Things are totally different,
The world will change,
The dimension will fall,
They can be a three-dimensional thing,
They can be a triangle.
They act abnormally...
A dot has nothing,
It can't be anything,
Just a dot.
Two dots are something,
They can be a line,
They can strangle the criminal,
They can cut through heavy metals,
No matter how far apart they are,
They have a way to link up.
When it comes to three dots,
Things are totally different,
The world will change,
The dimension will fall,
They can be a three-dimensional thing,
They can be a triangle.
2012年11月26日星期一
Music 。。。
About Music ...
Well a very good evening to my fellow friends, it is my pleasure here to share with you about music and what music really is.
Music, as many of you seemed to know but actually don't, is either a career path or a hobby.
When you want it as a hobby, you can enjoy the various good feelings that it has to offer. It is indeed a good way to release stress and express feelings. Drowned in the world of self saturation, you will never know how and what you are actually playing. Many of my "friends" told me that they are just following their feelings and some even told me that they just feel good when they play it. But trust me on this, if you were just following your feelings and ever felt that you were doing good and full of feelings, you were actually doing no much better than hell and sometimes worse.
When you want it as a career of your life, it will become both fantastic and realistic. Fantastic is that of the real music that you will get to listen to and great people you get to know. Every piece of music has its story and way of playing and every lesson is a portal to a brand new world full of mysterious harmonies and melodies.
Realistic, in another way, cruel. To do good music, as for a pianist, time,resources and talent are what matters the most. Time is first the time spent sitting in front of the piano practising and talking to ourselves. Second is the time we begin our long run on the little narrow path of music. Third is the time we have to vomit music out instead of swallowing them in, meanwhile, performing. Resources is the basic of all and so includes music. A good tutor, piano, environment, atmosphere and education. A good tutor gives a good instruction as incorrect instruction could ruin a pianist's life. A good piano trains the pianist's ears and fingers. In another way, concert hall never uses lousy piano. Environment, atmosphere and education stimulate and inspire the thoughts of a pianist. What goes, comes out. The last and the least, talent. It is a thing that won't matter much in the beginning but mattered the most in the end. Talent cannot overcome hard work and time but it can make a significant difference when both time and resources are the same. And that is what most people envied the most, Talent.
Tonight is the ASEAN International Chopin Piano Competition GALA Night, I was there and I envied them. The winners are so talented (some of them) and young, some are just 7 years old and some are 11. In my opinion,many of their playing were amazing yet not inspiring. Music should be something that is able to touch hearts of audience and lead them into fantasy.
Stop dreaming!
People that are able to do that, we call them Maestro.
Everything here are just my own opinion and some might not agree with me. For those who wish to start a endless debate, please kindly press the "X" button at the top right of your screen and get off the page.
Thank you very much.
2012年11月23日星期五
参观蜡像馆 。。。
蜡像馆。。。
工匠赋予蜡像生命 。。。
却没教会它们与生命连结 。。。
一尊尊的立在走廊的两侧 。。。
相距不过几米 。。。
却未曾交通 。。。
近在咫尺的心 。。。
也未曾互相打开过 。。。
各自跳着各自的舞蹈 。。。
在午夜的蜡像馆里存在 。。。
与蜡像对话 。。。
就犹如与蜡像对话 。。。
对话的方式是我问我答 。。。
它只听 。。。
硬邦邦的蜡像 。。。
它们不能改变 。。。
只能捧着自己所有的 。。。
向往着自己所不会有的 。。。
尝试着改变从一开始就决定了的结局 。。。
在一个个夜黑风高的夜里 。。。
上演着没有结局的喜剧 。。。
在买蜡像时的初次搬动容易不小心折断 。。。
一场无声的抗议 。。。
宁为玉碎，不为瓦全 。。。
那蜡像已经在这方地上扎根 。。。
它已与这片土地 。。。
有着深深的羁绊 。。。
他已属于这片土地 。。。
粗暴的力量使得连接处吱吱作响 。。。
一下 。。。
两下 。。。
三下 。。。
断开了 。。。
好痛 。。。
2012年11月10日星期六
2012年8月31日星期五
...
It is tragedy when you realized that you have much inside but nothing to let out. Bored thinking ways to hide its true meaning and tired bearing the burden.
Growing older and older, bigger and bigger, words seems to slip away from inside. Problems and things, big or small, seems to become small and unimportant, unimpactful. Over and over again the same matter happened, it has lost it's power to create differences and pain.
As always, only painful memories will be written down. We are having too much of peace now. Seize the coming of the storm and beware of the falling dawn.
Feelings are better kept inside sometimes. People may concern, and may not. Those who did will be blessed.
Growing older and older, bigger and bigger, words seems to slip away from inside. Problems and things, big or small, seems to become small and unimportant, unimpactful. Over and over again the same matter happened, it has lost it's power to create differences and pain.
As always, only painful memories will be written down. We are having too much of peace now. Seize the coming of the storm and beware of the falling dawn.
Feelings are better kept inside sometimes. People may concern, and may not. Those who did will be blessed.
2012年7月26日星期四
Unsaturated Love
I heard someone calling my name softly. I turned towards the tiny little voice and saw him bleeding, lying on one of the medic table full of blood stains. No one had to tell me what had happened to him for as a soldier in the middle of the second world war, I knew well enough what it was like a step on a land mine, and it was cruel.
There would never be a left leg for him ever again. neither nor the essence of life. A "nothing was there" for his lower left body, skin burnt heavily as it turned coal black. Some of his hair was gone, an eye already blinded and the other was on its way. Hus name is Lee, the one I love more than everything and myself.
He was born in Texas twenty years ago in a little wodden home where a happy little family inhabited. he was born with the love for his country and the passion for people. He inherited his father's blue eyes and brown hair but his mother's flappy ears and narrow face. He went staright away to military school right after his high school and was granted the rank 'Private" two years later.
I was not as passionate as he was. I was only a medical officer in the army just because I failed to get into the local medical university. My father suggested joining the army as a medical officer since I love taking care of the wounded. The one thing I was no aware of was that I actually had to go to the front line and sometimes join the mission which took a long journey where medical emergency was required.
Our first encounter was a mission to recover soldiers from a failed paradrop on a bad windy day. All of them were blown very far apart and some right into the enemy's base. We became good friends during the mission while the seed of love grew secretly beneath the depths of our heart. Despite the rules of the army, homosexuality is strictly forbidden. But it couldn't stop us from drowning into the sea of forbidden realms. The fire starts that night where the wind blew so deadly and the heavy down pour wouldn't stop. We hugged each other through the shivering night and revealed the thoughts within our hearts. With fear and uncertainties, we are one since then.
I went through all our precious and unforgettable memories together when I was sitting beside his bed, watching him gasping for the last few breath of air his half gone body was allowed to. Tears poured down from both my eyes and his. We both knew this might be the last scene God has plotted for our insanity love. In the army, where infections crawled like the walking dead, one would be gone just within a couple of days, full of pain and suffering.
I looked at him sadly with my already reddish eyes and whispered my last few words of love for him wholeheartedly. I turned my gaze away from him and stand up. Trying to ran away from whatever was waiting for us just there, I left. i couldn't stand by watching him drifting away from me second by second.
Loving someone is never wrong, boy or girl, girl or boy, as long as we love, it will bear as much fruit as those in Canaan. I knew it well enough. I always believe that. I love him, more than everything including myself. I do not regret, never.
There would never be a left leg for him ever again. neither nor the essence of life. A "nothing was there" for his lower left body, skin burnt heavily as it turned coal black. Some of his hair was gone, an eye already blinded and the other was on its way. Hus name is Lee, the one I love more than everything and myself.
He was born in Texas twenty years ago in a little wodden home where a happy little family inhabited. he was born with the love for his country and the passion for people. He inherited his father's blue eyes and brown hair but his mother's flappy ears and narrow face. He went staright away to military school right after his high school and was granted the rank 'Private" two years later.
I was not as passionate as he was. I was only a medical officer in the army just because I failed to get into the local medical university. My father suggested joining the army as a medical officer since I love taking care of the wounded. The one thing I was no aware of was that I actually had to go to the front line and sometimes join the mission which took a long journey where medical emergency was required.
Our first encounter was a mission to recover soldiers from a failed paradrop on a bad windy day. All of them were blown very far apart and some right into the enemy's base. We became good friends during the mission while the seed of love grew secretly beneath the depths of our heart. Despite the rules of the army, homosexuality is strictly forbidden. But it couldn't stop us from drowning into the sea of forbidden realms. The fire starts that night where the wind blew so deadly and the heavy down pour wouldn't stop. We hugged each other through the shivering night and revealed the thoughts within our hearts. With fear and uncertainties, we are one since then.
I went through all our precious and unforgettable memories together when I was sitting beside his bed, watching him gasping for the last few breath of air his half gone body was allowed to. Tears poured down from both my eyes and his. We both knew this might be the last scene God has plotted for our insanity love. In the army, where infections crawled like the walking dead, one would be gone just within a couple of days, full of pain and suffering.
I looked at him sadly with my already reddish eyes and whispered my last few words of love for him wholeheartedly. I turned my gaze away from him and stand up. Trying to ran away from whatever was waiting for us just there, I left. i couldn't stand by watching him drifting away from me second by second.
Loving someone is never wrong, boy or girl, girl or boy, as long as we love, it will bear as much fruit as those in Canaan. I knew it well enough. I always believe that. I love him, more than everything including myself. I do not regret, never.
2012年7月5日星期四
反正 。。。
一场大雨，下尽心中的无奈。。。
反正你都 。。。
反正你现在 。。。
反正你只需要 。。。
反正 。。。
下雨了 。。。
撑起伞 。。。
怎么撑伞了 ？
人总是会变 。。。
豪雨来袭 。。。
湿透了 。。。
不是有伞吗 ？
风也会变 。。。
路旁的泛起小河 。。。
川流不息 。。。
七分白 。。。
两分黄 。。。
一分黑 。。。
白的是水 。。。
是从来没改变过的 。。。
洪流中的无名修行者 。。。
黄的是泥 。。。
是不知从哪里来的 。。。
某只鞋下的舞者 。。。
黑的是泪 。。。
血泪 。。。
参杂了窗外无情的鞭打与可笑的同情 。。。
它们从哪里来 ？
从这里 。。。
它们是什么 ？
它们是这个时代的继承人 。。。
却也同样被时代所抛弃 。。。
雨渐渐小了 。。。
世纪初风格设计的客厅里 。。。
开着泛黄的日光灯 。。。
暗黄的啤酒 。。。
金黄的小点 。。。
感觉一切都是黄的 。。。
蒙蒙的 。。。
六时正 。。。
眼睛看到的是血红 。。。
鲜红的血 。。。
流淌在空气中 。。。
仿佛没有了地心引力 。。。
那是浓于水的情 。。。
可却最让人失望 。。。
雨时大时小 。。。
两个时空间的鸿沟 。。。
多少血也填不满 。。。
尽管是我的血 。。。
鸿沟旁有泛舟者 。。。
永远的等着有那么一天 。。。
有人要渡河 。。。
一切都仿佛美好 。。。
反正你都 。。。
反正你现在 。。。
反正你只需要 。。。
反正 。。。
下雨了 。。。
撑起伞 。。。
怎么撑伞了 ？
人总是会变 。。。
豪雨来袭 。。。
湿透了 。。。
不是有伞吗 ？
风也会变 。。。
路旁的泛起小河 。。。
川流不息 。。。
七分白 。。。
两分黄 。。。
一分黑 。。。
白的是水 。。。
是从来没改变过的 。。。
洪流中的无名修行者 。。。
黄的是泥 。。。
是不知从哪里来的 。。。
某只鞋下的舞者 。。。
黑的是泪 。。。
血泪 。。。
参杂了窗外无情的鞭打与可笑的同情 。。。
它们从哪里来 ？
从这里 。。。
它们是什么 ？
它们是这个时代的继承人 。。。
却也同样被时代所抛弃 。。。
雨渐渐小了 。。。
世纪初风格设计的客厅里 。。。
开着泛黄的日光灯 。。。
暗黄的啤酒 。。。
金黄的小点 。。。
感觉一切都是黄的 。。。
蒙蒙的 。。。
六时正 。。。
眼睛看到的是血红 。。。
鲜红的血 。。。
流淌在空气中 。。。
仿佛没有了地心引力 。。。
那是浓于水的情 。。。
可却最让人失望 。。。
雨时大时小 。。。
两个时空间的鸿沟 。。。
多少血也填不满 。。。
尽管是我的血 。。。
鸿沟旁有泛舟者 。。。
永远的等着有那么一天 。。。
有人要渡河 。。。
一切都仿佛美好 。。。
2012年6月26日星期二
Changes 。。。
2012/6/19
It has been a while since I last wrote anything sentimental here.
The exam is coming. Just 7 days ahead. And I'm not ready yet. It is a strange thing for whenever there were something that will make a big difference came in between me and my life, I always purposely ruined it.
Studies, Plays, Exams, Piano, Performance, Everything.
Some people told me that it is laziness, some say that I din't put enough effort on it. but whoever did made a guess, they were never entirely correct. Who knows the best who am I ? Myself of course.
Efforts, this is just a solution to the question but not the problem.
Proud, maybe, but it is not. I know how good and bad I am, no one can fool themselves.
It is as if I just want to live a miserable life. Full of problems and pressure. Gain and lost, taken away. It is as if a smooth, positive life is not what we called "living". A habit of writing blogs started when i was in a total misery conducted by a Fucking Bitch. Since then hatred, lost, sadness, sorrow, fear, vengeance has become the motivation of everything.
I can't live without them.
But as time goes on and things went differently.
As a grown man, I am now responsible for myself and for some others.Life like that no longer fits.
But I din't notice that.
The world might crumble right after the exam or the UEC. I really don't know what will happen. The road to the future lies in total darkness, abyss.
After the incident during Junior2, an idea sets its root deep inside my mind. It is just as simple as an apple falling on newton's head.
"Why I have to be so good ?"
I was the best at the top tower of life and yet banished away by some bitch just because that she was old and dull. I have a brother and a sister which stand at the top of the day. Why would I bother to be the same? Why don't I try something else? Other than success, like failure? Everyone say that doing all this are for myself and my own good. I shouldn't compare. But we are in a world full of human. And human compares.
Am idea is lethal, once it goes into our mind, it takes control of it. Just like a little seed planted in the soil, one day it will grow into a powerful forest.
I always know that something was wrong, but not this.
I don't know this.
1313_hour 2012/6/26
An hour and sever minutes to the exam.
An exam that might change my life.
That may lift me to another world.
I'm nervous, excited as well as scared.
Ready or not, is not the problem now.
On the stage, it's confidence which makes the difference.
Writing this might not bring me some.
But its time to leave traces of my life somewhere.
And become the legend.
Even I'm not the best, I', not the worst.
My target today at this very place is to be the best me.
And the worst others.
I am myself, so I go in as me.
The end is not so important as the progress.
To endure, I need strength.
For strength, I stand straight.
Never tremble, for it is different now.
Nothing can stop me.
No devil shall prevail.
By the name of the Lord.
Yves Hon
It has been a while since I last wrote anything sentimental here.
The exam is coming. Just 7 days ahead. And I'm not ready yet. It is a strange thing for whenever there were something that will make a big difference came in between me and my life, I always purposely ruined it.
Studies, Plays, Exams, Piano, Performance, Everything.
Some people told me that it is laziness, some say that I din't put enough effort on it. but whoever did made a guess, they were never entirely correct. Who knows the best who am I ? Myself of course.
Efforts, this is just a solution to the question but not the problem.
Proud, maybe, but it is not. I know how good and bad I am, no one can fool themselves.
It is as if I just want to live a miserable life. Full of problems and pressure. Gain and lost, taken away. It is as if a smooth, positive life is not what we called "living". A habit of writing blogs started when i was in a total misery conducted by a Fucking Bitch. Since then hatred, lost, sadness, sorrow, fear, vengeance has become the motivation of everything.
I can't live without them.
But as time goes on and things went differently.
As a grown man, I am now responsible for myself and for some others.Life like that no longer fits.
But I din't notice that.
The world might crumble right after the exam or the UEC. I really don't know what will happen. The road to the future lies in total darkness, abyss.
After the incident during Junior2, an idea sets its root deep inside my mind. It is just as simple as an apple falling on newton's head.
"Why I have to be so good ?"
I was the best at the top tower of life and yet banished away by some bitch just because that she was old and dull. I have a brother and a sister which stand at the top of the day. Why would I bother to be the same? Why don't I try something else? Other than success, like failure? Everyone say that doing all this are for myself and my own good. I shouldn't compare. But we are in a world full of human. And human compares.
Am idea is lethal, once it goes into our mind, it takes control of it. Just like a little seed planted in the soil, one day it will grow into a powerful forest.
I always know that something was wrong, but not this.
I don't know this.
1313_hour 2012/6/26
An hour and sever minutes to the exam.
An exam that might change my life.
That may lift me to another world.
I'm nervous, excited as well as scared.
Ready or not, is not the problem now.
On the stage, it's confidence which makes the difference.
Writing this might not bring me some.
But its time to leave traces of my life somewhere.
And become the legend.
Even I'm not the best, I', not the worst.
My target today at this very place is to be the best me.
And the worst others.
I am myself, so I go in as me.
The end is not so important as the progress.
To endure, I need strength.
For strength, I stand straight.
Never tremble, for it is different now.
Nothing can stop me.
No devil shall prevail.
By the name of the Lord.
Yves Hon
2012年6月9日星期六
A simple step 。。。
There are many things out there in the world. We're actually very close to them. A simple step in front will do. A call, a message, a smile, a look. For most of the times we don't know what we are capable of, and so we waste lots of time and resources chasing after something that might not even exist.
Do not blame those robbers for they are to rob, just as thieves are meant to steal, not to give nor commit.
We rob because we can, and because we want to.
We have a target, a target that gives us strength and power to endure everything that are to come on our way.
For example Love. Something that everyone will have to face during the walk of life to death. The world was made unfair, we can't expect it to be fair. For that reason, we shouldn't play the game rules by rules. Sometimes you have to hold tight, but sometimes you just have to let go, and you will find that there are actually something better behind it. There are also times that even we choose to let go when we should have held tight, it might also end with peace. It might turned out to be even better. Sometimes we have to rob to have what we want. Robbing has nothing to do with right or wrong. It is about ability, skills and luck. Robbers won't treasure what they rob, it is a common sense as well as actual fact.
Do not blame those robbers for they are to rob, just as thieves are meant to steal, not to give nor commit.
We rob because we can, and because we want to.
We have a target, a target that gives us strength and power to endure everything that are to come on our way.
2012年5月31日星期四
咖啡 。。。
古早的咖啡香空气中弥漫着 。。。
柔软的沙发逐渐侵蚀我的意志 。。。
完美的爱情并不深刻 。。。
就如温开水 。。。
既不烫嘴 。。。
也不醒神 。。。
深刻的爱情不完美 。。。
刻骨铭心的 。。。
必须有伤痕 。。。
有裂痕 。。。
有疤 。。。
有痂 。。。
就如一块石头 。。。
圆的总是很多 。。。
刺脚的才最引人注意 。。。
要让人永远记住一个人 。。。
一件事 。。。
痛 。。。
往往比甜更为有效 。。。
人都倾向于隐藏伤痛 。。。
可身为人 。。。
唯一无法对自己下达的指令无非是 。。。
“
不要去想他 。。。
”
想要永远记得一样东西 。。。
唯一的办法就是永远忘记 。。。
太极张三丰传授太极剑法给张无忌时问说 。。。
看清楚了吗？
“记得六七分” 。。。
“记得两三分” 。。。
“全都忘了” 。。。
结果就完全记住了 。。。
凄美 。。。
是轻狂岁月中衍生出来的爱情的最好归宿 。。。
既不完全凄凉 。。。
也不全属完美 。。。
凄美 。。。
晚风轻抚 。。。
虫鸣微响 。。。
在无数个这样的夜晚里 。。。
我们悟出了人生 。。。
属于自己的人生 。。。
做了许多决定 。。。
关上了许多道门 。。。
在这之后 。。。
我们向前走 。。。
柔软的沙发逐渐侵蚀我的意志 。。。
完美的爱情并不深刻 。。。
就如温开水 。。。
既不烫嘴 。。。
也不醒神 。。。
深刻的爱情不完美 。。。
刻骨铭心的 。。。
必须有伤痕 。。。
有裂痕 。。。
有疤 。。。
有痂 。。。
就如一块石头 。。。
圆的总是很多 。。。
刺脚的才最引人注意 。。。
要让人永远记住一个人 。。。
一件事 。。。
痛 。。。
往往比甜更为有效 。。。
人都倾向于隐藏伤痛 。。。
可身为人 。。。
唯一无法对自己下达的指令无非是 。。。
“
不要去想他 。。。
”
想要永远记得一样东西 。。。
唯一的办法就是永远忘记 。。。
太极张三丰传授太极剑法给张无忌时问说 。。。
看清楚了吗？
“记得六七分” 。。。
“记得两三分” 。。。
“全都忘了” 。。。
结果就完全记住了 。。。
凄美 。。。
是轻狂岁月中衍生出来的爱情的最好归宿 。。。
既不完全凄凉 。。。
也不全属完美 。。。
凄美 。。。
晚风轻抚 。。。
虫鸣微响 。。。
在无数个这样的夜晚里 。。。
我们悟出了人生 。。。
属于自己的人生 。。。
做了许多决定 。。。
关上了许多道门 。。。
在这之后 。。。
我们向前走 。。。
2012年5月26日星期六
Change 。。。
Went out with friends yesterday, the very first time in years, there were so many of them. It's a brand new concept of "hanging out" to me for it is usually 1 to 1 hang out for me and I don't see the point of hanging out with a friend or with friends. This experience became so special for it has changed my way of thinking.
For too long I've been wrapping myself up using thorns and spikes, metal and silver for self protection. Since three, grade two, and then form two and then junior two. Different kinds of wards and spells were cast in order to make secure of the inner most being. For once I thought that maybe it is already too complicated and late to undo all these spells.
Not until I met these friends. They are really ball suckers and peanut crusher but they indeed are the very first bunch of idiot who defrosted the icy wall. The moistful wind of the great ocean and the laughter of the great mountain shattered it completely.
Yesterday someone cried after talking about a thing named" Promises ". Maybe it was too cruel to say it out but it is the truth for we like to give and they love to have it. Maybe I shouldn't have been so straight but going round and round in circles can never solve the question. The tears were shocking as well as inspiring. It conjoured an acidic cloud inside of me. Felt sorry anyway.
More things to say but those are secrects so they remain in the protection of the still complicated oblivion waiting for one day to come when things are different. Maybe somedays will come.
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