Good Bye 。。。

10.36 P.M  31/12/2013.

 

  Few things I'v learned this passing year of 2013,

1) Instead of finding reasons to love, simplicity serves better.

In remembrance of the one I thought would be my Jaina Proudmoore. 

2) A good student prospers because of a good teacher.

In remembrance of the seven years wasted in a street house in the neighborhood. 

3) When expressing affection to a long-time friend, be careful or risk destroying everything.

In remembrance of the one far far away in the north whose name none other know.

4) If you dreamed about having sex with someone, DON'T EVER DISCUSS IT WITH THEM.

In remembrance of the one I discussed the dream with.

5) Sometimes, you just can't do it.

In remembrance of myself in the year 2013,

 good bye.

Guilts 。。。

  There is nothing selfish about this. You take what you willingly gave out back, one way or another. But when the demand to give became too much to bear and the urge to take back became lesser and lesser, the balance is destroyed. But it was not what happened. The urge to take was overwhelming but the fear towards giving grew even stronger. And this was and is, human.

  A happy Christmas day, piano to play, food to enjoy and people to care. Yet after all came to pass, strange sense of guilt filled my very being. 

  As always, a breastplate damaged too bluntly needed no polishes or oil but the hammer and fire of the blacksmith to crush and consume every bits of it and reform it.

  Yet the kind of topic is not something you can talk about when the sun shines and the wind blows.

Seeds 。。。

  It has been a long time since I have written anything here, as to all the things happened recently were either too foul that such secrets should never be revealed or too genuine that it would destroy the image the world had on me.

  Few days ago, in a very peaceful night, despite all that might or might not be of trouble and consequences which no one will ever know, some of my fellow little secrets on the genuine side slipped through the little gap, to the Atlantic far far away.

  I don't mean to change anything other than letting you know about it. I just hope that despite all the distances in between, slowly with time, a more intimate bond can be forged, only until then should we decide the title to which we will announce to the world. Names, Titles were meant for the world to recognize, you don't need one when you are certain that the future will eventually come to pass. We both know too well that for now we have nothing to give and to promises but remember that we have also none to lose. We have time. Future lies ahead, and time rolls as eagerly as always.

  Just, reserve some little space in that heart of yours for the seeds to grow. Whatever the crops will be, leave it in for the Future to decide.

  .  

Such was not what I intended.

  Just a little time, before leaving for the concert. Take a little time for myself, which for a very long time I don't. It seems that sometimes, or just let it be always,

   such was not what I intended.

Yet it came. 

  

  How do I explain the concept of a yes and no relationship while yes and no are still to be discovered? A youngster can never understand the cruelty of war spoken by folks who's concerns everyday now were the flowers and dogs in their backyard. 

  Only when war engines were at their door steps, when the sky rained not of water but blood should they understand it truly. 

  

  Different experiences throughout the years, made the difference. You won't really understand, that I am really sorry.